Down With Mommy Guilt!

Seriously ladies, we have to stop this. Mommy Guilt is making us nothing but crazy!

My Philosophy No. 1: If it's only temporary, don't worry about it!

For 2 months after bringing Lily home from the hospital, we watched movie after movie, day after day. I was too tired to even attempt any kind of activity with Colby, and the weather wasn't cooperating for outdoor fun. After we finally found a routine with our new little one, I vowed NEVER to watch that many movies again.

And then winter hit. Unless you have a super-human immune system, you can sympathize with how those long months went. One week we're fine, the next sick as dogs. The week after that, we stay inside just to be safe, but we end up sick anyway. This charade went on for months. I broke my anti-movie vow, and succumbed to day after day of watching Cars. "KaChow!"

Is Colby dumber for it? No. (Although now he can recite some lines of his favorite movies.) Does he have less of an imagination? I'm going to say emphatically, no. (Case in point: a couple of days ago I watched him run towards the sun yelling, "I catch you!")

It was temporary, and we're no worse for the wear. And I'm sure we'll do it again many, many more times in the future.

My Philosophy No. 2: If you have no control over it, don't worry about it.

Colby was a BIG baby. I often worried about his size since he was soooo much bigger than his infant counterparts. But, I was assured that he was healthy, and has since evened out. More recently, I have worried that his language skills aren't up to where they should be, as compared to other kids his age. But his vocabulary has recently exploded, so there was no point worrying.

On the other side, Lily is a peanut and pretty small for her age. I take one look at her beautiful, beefy thunder thighs and know that she's healthy. She doesn't like to roll either, but I know she could if she wanted to, so I'm choosing not to worry about it.

My kids are fed and their brains and bodies nurtured. I take them to the doctor when they're sick, feed them when they're hungry, and hug them when they need hugs. These are the things I have power over. Everything beyond that is not worth worrying about, because it isn't mine to control.

My Philosophy No. 3: If it means getting a break, don't worry about it!

This is so important, I almost think it should be No. 1. We work so hard as moms, for little thanks in return. (Sure, hugs and kisses are wonderful and heartwarming, but they don't take the knots out of my back or paint my nails pretty colors.) All of this hard work deserves a break here and there. When you are given the opportunity for an evening, weekend, or week away, take it and don't feel guilty about it. You're allowed to miss your kiddos if you're gone a while, but please don't feel like you're being a "bad mom" for having time for yourself. It may come as a shock, but our kids sometimes need a break from us too. And, while you're out on a date with your hubby, or getting pedicures with your girlfriends, your kids are probably having the time of their lives getting spoiled by grandparents or wrestling with Daddy. You NEED time away to be a good parent, so don't feel bad for taking that opportunity. That's an order soldier.

My Philosophy No. 4: Kids don't eat healthy all the time, so don't worry about it.

We have a rule in our house. If you don't like what Mommy makes for dinner, then you don't eat. I think it's a great rule, when I actually cook...

I've been doing better about making healthy meals since I've been trying to lose weight, but in that time after bringing Lily home, and again during the succeeding endless sickies, we had a whole lot of takeout and pizza. I tried to convince myself that there was something healthy in Colby's meal (Cheese is calcium! Pepperoni is protein! At least he has apples with his Fatty McNuggets dipped in more Fatty Goodness, right?), but realized it really was all crap. I took solace in knowing it was only temporary. And it was! Now, we're eating healthy again, and he's getting homemade (read: microwaved) chicken nuggets dipped in low fat goodness. (Okay, we're working on expanding his menu.) But the point is that there are always going to be times when we don't eat great, and that's okay.

My overall philosophy to banishing Mommy Guilt:

If it doesn't kill or seriously hurt them, don't worry about it!

They'll live, they'll be just fine. I promise. And you'll feel less crazy and have more time to occupy your mind with more constructive things. Like creating the healthiest, nummiest pizza and chicken nuggets ever. (Send me the recipe when you figure it out. )

I found this article from Parenting Magazine called Kiss Mommy Guilt Goodbye, it's a good one! http://www.parenting.com/article/Mom/Relationships/Kiss-Mommy-Guilt-Goodbye/1

Stop feeling guilty, you are a GREAT mom, simply for the reason that you love your kids so much to worry about them.