Lately I have been realizing something about myself. Or maybe that isn't the way to put it, maybe I have been figuring myself out, learning who this Lindsay person is. I am Clint's wife, definitely. I am the mother of Colby and Lily, sister to Corey, daughter to Kerry and Heidi. I could go on, and on. (For a really long time too, I have seriously 60+ cousins, not to mention numerous aunts and uncles. But I will spare you those snooze-worthy details.)
What I am coming to realize lately, is that I am so much more than these titles show. I love my children to the ends of the earth and back, but to say they are my entire life would be a lie. And really, I would hate it if my entire life revolved around my children. That sounds harsh, but think about it: if your whole existence was based on diapers, The Potty (I put it in caps because it's that big of a deal), spit up, endless streams of Shrek and Nemo, mindless games of Playdough and choo-choo trains, tantrums, and macaroni and cheese, you'd probably be totally miserable. At least I know I would be. I think what I'm learning is that life is all about balance.
First and foremost, I need time for me. Without time to myself to, I dunno, read, write, pick my nose, whatever suits my fancy, I cannot be a good anything to anybody. (Okay, pick my nose might be a little extreme, but I had to make sure you were still paying attention. Are you? Great!) I have to capture these precious moments whenever they come my way, because they're certainly not every day. But when I do get a chance to be with myself, I am a happier person. (I don't mean be with myself like that, come on now, gutter brain.)
Second, I am lucky enough to be married to the best man on Earth. (No joke, I'm pretty sure he could win contests.) It is extremely important to us to keep our relationship alive. We are teaching our children how to be in a relationship and how to treat the opposite sex. If we let our marriage fall by the way-side, we're only doing our kids damage. Therefore, I do not feel guilty when we ship them off to the grandparent's for the weekend, or go out for the evening. I have no regrets when we put them to bed early for the night just so we can have some alone time. (Now that was intended to be a little dirty, you can bring your gutter brain back.)
And finally, I have a few really great friends. I need time with them. It could be in my pajamas, no makeup, and slightly smelling of coffee breath with my neighbor, while our boys pummel eachother and we play referee, or out with that same neighbor getting our groove on sans kiddos. It could be a night of poker, board games, and a fair amount of booze with long time friends. It could really be any other random play date where I get to chat with my mommy-buds. (That's when we start conversations that I realize hours later never ended because we got distracted by something our kids were doing. That always cracks me up.) I would have to include my family in here as well, because they're incredibly entertaining and fun. (Is family supposed to be this cool, or did I just get really freakin' lucky?) But no matter the relationship, new, old, or casual acquaintance, I need these as a part of the balance of my life.
Realizing these things is making me a better person. I know that when I'm super stressed, it's because one of these aspects in my life is out of balance. Usually, that is time to myself, and fortunately it is the easiest to fix. Not to get all religious here, but if I only have a couple of minutes to myself, lets say, in the shower, a quick prayer of, "Thank You for the wonderful blessings in my life. Please help me get through today with patience, grace, and as little yelling as possible," usually does a good quick fix for me. At least until I can get some real time to myself. You know, when the kids are miraculously napping at the same time?
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