I cannot count the number of times in my life that I have wished for some extraordinary talent. As a child I wanted more than anything to be a singer. I went through another phase where I hoped to play the violin professionally. As I grew older and went to college (and came down to Earth), I wished I could be a successful, charismatic business woman who rocketed her way to the top.
But never had I wished for such talent than the moment my babies entered this world, and still to this day. How badly I wish that I were an amazing artist so I could perfectly capture so many sweet moments.
If only I could paint the many kisses on chubby cheeks and bellies, or photograph the silly games of Duck Duck Goose and Mommy Chase Me While Growling Like A Monster. If only I could compose the perfect sonata to capture the slow dances to music that brings tears to my eyes, and the booty shakin' boogies that make me tear up with laughter.
Truthfully though, even if I had the talent, it wouldn't do these moments justice. Even the most talented artist, photographer, or composer could not truly capture raw, down to the core, heart wrenching, feeling.
It is impossible to photograph the smell of lavender shampoo infused with spit up on my precious baby girl. You cannot paint the overwhelming pride I feel when my son pees on the potty or gives his sister soft kisses. There is no way to compose the feeling of heartbreak and yet sense of being needed when my little one is sick or hurt. It is impossible to show the way my heart melts when I see the love of my life loving our babies.
I may not be as talented in the areas that I would like, but I am thankful for my memories. I thank God for the simple little moments, smells, and feelings that make this life worth living.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Monday, January 28, 2008
Exercise: Jan 28.- Feb. 2
I have been doing this blog on MySpace, but I figured I'd keep it going here too!
This week's goals:
*Do vigorous activity 30-45 mins every day
(210-315 mins)
*Don't eat after 8pm
*Drink 64 oz water/day
What I have accomplished this week:
This week's goals:
*Do vigorous activity 30-45 mins every day
(210-315 mins)
*Don't eat after 8pm
*Drink 64 oz water/day
What I have accomplished this week:
Sunday:
-Exercise: 3 miles in 1 hr 30 mins
-Water: ??
-Eat after 8pm?: Nope.
Monday:
-Exercise: Pilates 45 mins.
-Water:
-Eat after 8pm?: No.
Tuesday:
-Exercise: Walk 1 mile in 30 mins., Strength training 45 mins.
-Water: 49oz.
-Eat after 8pm?: No.
Total calories burned: 526
Total time worked out: 240
Reflections:
Sunday: We got a little snow today, so we took a walk as a family to the store for some groceries. The snow was melted by the time we got back, but it was still a great walk!
Monday: I had to force myself to do Pilates today. I really didn't want to, but I am glad I did. Based on my last workout blog, it looks like I have been slacking off on working out, but I haven't. I've been finding it difficult to find time to exercise, so during the day I make sure Colby and I dance for 30-60 minutes. That way, it's fun for him and a great workout for me!
I'm getting a little bit discouraged though. I know I have lost weight because the scale shows that, but I don't feel like I look any different. I hope that changes soon. And, how is it possible that I am only a pound away from my prepregnancy weight, but my prepregnancy jeans don't fit?? That doesn't seem fair at all. Grrrr. (I know, your body changes w/ pregnancy, but dang.)
Tuesday: I am really pushing myself to stay motivated this week. I hope that I show at least a pound of weight loss when I weigh in on Monday. I did strength training during Biggest Loser tonight. Unfortunately I don't know how to calculate the calories burned for it, but that's okay. One question though... why is it that during a show ALL about losing weight, they show a Chili's commercial for a triple thick bacon burger?! Is that cruel torture or what?
Monday: I had to force myself to do Pilates today. I really didn't want to, but I am glad I did. Based on my last workout blog, it looks like I have been slacking off on working out, but I haven't. I've been finding it difficult to find time to exercise, so during the day I make sure Colby and I dance for 30-60 minutes. That way, it's fun for him and a great workout for me!
I'm getting a little bit discouraged though. I know I have lost weight because the scale shows that, but I don't feel like I look any different. I hope that changes soon. And, how is it possible that I am only a pound away from my prepregnancy weight, but my prepregnancy jeans don't fit?? That doesn't seem fair at all. Grrrr. (I know, your body changes w/ pregnancy, but dang.)
Tuesday: I am really pushing myself to stay motivated this week. I hope that I show at least a pound of weight loss when I weigh in on Monday. I did strength training during Biggest Loser tonight. Unfortunately I don't know how to calculate the calories burned for it, but that's okay. One question though... why is it that during a show ALL about losing weight, they show a Chili's commercial for a triple thick bacon burger?! Is that cruel torture or what?
My goals:
First weight loss goal: Be back to prepregnancy weight by Valentine's Day (1.5 lbs from current weight)
Next weight loss goal: Be back to wedding weight (13 lbs from prepreg weight)
Final weight loss goal: Be at my ideal weight (10 lbs from wedding weight)
Total: Lose 34 lbs!!
First weight loss goal: Be back to prepregnancy weight by Valentine's Day (1.5 lbs from current weight)
Next weight loss goal: Be back to wedding weight (13 lbs from prepreg weight)
Final weight loss goal: Be at my ideal weight (10 lbs from wedding weight)
Total: Lose 34 lbs!!
Monday, January 14, 2008
My Morning Adventures
1/14/08
It's 7:30 am and my first thought is, "I really wish my kids had a snooze button." The second is, "Damn, I need coffee," and thus begins my day.
After crawling out of my warm, cozy bed, I change diapers, get cereal, and heat up our single serve coffee maker. I can almost taste that first warm sip.
Colby is potty training and presently informs me, "Pee pee!" so we run to the bathroom where he sits there playing with the toilet paper and making a teensy little tinkle in the potty. I act like it is the coolest thing in the world and jump around like an idiot clapping and cheering him on. We flush, wash up, and head back to the breakfast table.
I toss out the old coffee pod, put in a new one, and place a cup under the resevior.
Lily starts whining and needs to be fed, so I scoop her up and we plop down on the couch. Colby has Curious George on and even after Lily finishes eating, I sit there watching, as if I hadn't already seen the George Builds a Dam episode 5 times. At this point, I watch Lily rub her eyes and accidentally scratch herself with her fingernails. I grab the clippers and remedy that problem, and then decide to do Colby's. Before that can happen, Colby decides to do his big pee on the floor just feet from the little potty and informs me that I need to go grab a towel.
On my way to the towel, I start brewing the coffee, in hopes that I'll actually be able to drink it.
I clean up the pee, throw a load of towels in the washer, clip Colby's nails, and am shocked that I actually get to have my coffee now. I put in my peppermint creamer and take that first, wonderful, glorious sip. Mmmmm caffeine heaven.
Someone calls about an unpaid bill from Lily's birth and I tell them that I already contacted our insurance because the bill was incorrect. This reminds me that I have some bills to pay.
I pay bills online, get distracted by MySpace Blogging, returning emails, and BabyCenter. There goes 45 minutes.
More pee on the potty, dancing around like a nut, cleaning up accidents, changing diapers, giving medicine, calling doctors to make appointments, and before I know it, the morning has disappeared.
Crap! My coffee! It's 11:30 so I know there is little hope, but I pick it up anyway and take a sip. Blech, it's cold.
Tomorrow. Tomorrow I will be able to drink my whole cup of coffee while it's still nice and warm.
It's 7:30 am and my first thought is, "I really wish my kids had a snooze button." The second is, "Damn, I need coffee," and thus begins my day.
After crawling out of my warm, cozy bed, I change diapers, get cereal, and heat up our single serve coffee maker. I can almost taste that first warm sip.
Colby is potty training and presently informs me, "Pee pee!" so we run to the bathroom where he sits there playing with the toilet paper and making a teensy little tinkle in the potty. I act like it is the coolest thing in the world and jump around like an idiot clapping and cheering him on. We flush, wash up, and head back to the breakfast table.
I toss out the old coffee pod, put in a new one, and place a cup under the resevior.
Lily starts whining and needs to be fed, so I scoop her up and we plop down on the couch. Colby has Curious George on and even after Lily finishes eating, I sit there watching, as if I hadn't already seen the George Builds a Dam episode 5 times. At this point, I watch Lily rub her eyes and accidentally scratch herself with her fingernails. I grab the clippers and remedy that problem, and then decide to do Colby's. Before that can happen, Colby decides to do his big pee on the floor just feet from the little potty and informs me that I need to go grab a towel.
On my way to the towel, I start brewing the coffee, in hopes that I'll actually be able to drink it.
I clean up the pee, throw a load of towels in the washer, clip Colby's nails, and am shocked that I actually get to have my coffee now. I put in my peppermint creamer and take that first, wonderful, glorious sip. Mmmmm caffeine heaven.
Someone calls about an unpaid bill from Lily's birth and I tell them that I already contacted our insurance because the bill was incorrect. This reminds me that I have some bills to pay.
I pay bills online, get distracted by MySpace Blogging, returning emails, and BabyCenter. There goes 45 minutes.
More pee on the potty, dancing around like a nut, cleaning up accidents, changing diapers, giving medicine, calling doctors to make appointments, and before I know it, the morning has disappeared.
Crap! My coffee! It's 11:30 so I know there is little hope, but I pick it up anyway and take a sip. Blech, it's cold.
Tomorrow. Tomorrow I will be able to drink my whole cup of coffee while it's still nice and warm.
Little Blessings.
12/12/07
Today is a great day. Thank God for good days, because they're what helps through the more difficult ones, like my last blog.
I am incredibly blessed. This morning it's chilly outside, but the sky has that beautiful overcast wintery look.We're sitting in our warm and cozy house, watching a Christmas movie and snuggling on the couch. I have my nummy cup of coffee with peppermint mocha creamer, and can smell the Christmas tree behind me. Lily is asleep in front of Colby and me, all snuggled in her fleece blanket.
Earlier, the three of us were playing on the floor and Colby gave Lily hugs and kisses while she sat and smiled at him, just beaming at her big brother. At one point I had both kids in my lap, Colby's arm around Lily's back and I thought, "Wow, this is what life is all about. This is love." My house is a total mess and I'm pretty sure there's a dirty diaper hiding somewhere because I keep getting a whiff of it, but I don't care. Right now I'm just enjoying this moment.
How blessed am I... Trying as it may be sometimes, I get to be home and watch my babies grow up. I get to witness every smile, giggle, and step they take. I know I am fortunate. I can go to the grocery store and buy anything we need without having to worry about not having enough money. I can take my kids to the doctor without a second thought of how much it's going to cost. We aren't wealthy by any means, and we make sacrifices, but so many people don't have the luxury of treating themselves to football games and the occasional Starbucks, let alone even affording to keep food on the table. We have worked hard for what we have, and I am grateful every single day that I get to be on this Earth because I know life goes by fast. I want to always remember these little blessings and thank God for them every single day.
Today is a great day. Thank God for good days, because they're what helps through the more difficult ones, like my last blog.
I am incredibly blessed. This morning it's chilly outside, but the sky has that beautiful overcast wintery look.We're sitting in our warm and cozy house, watching a Christmas movie and snuggling on the couch. I have my nummy cup of coffee with peppermint mocha creamer, and can smell the Christmas tree behind me. Lily is asleep in front of Colby and me, all snuggled in her fleece blanket.
Earlier, the three of us were playing on the floor and Colby gave Lily hugs and kisses while she sat and smiled at him, just beaming at her big brother. At one point I had both kids in my lap, Colby's arm around Lily's back and I thought, "Wow, this is what life is all about. This is love." My house is a total mess and I'm pretty sure there's a dirty diaper hiding somewhere because I keep getting a whiff of it, but I don't care. Right now I'm just enjoying this moment.
How blessed am I... Trying as it may be sometimes, I get to be home and watch my babies grow up. I get to witness every smile, giggle, and step they take. I know I am fortunate. I can go to the grocery store and buy anything we need without having to worry about not having enough money. I can take my kids to the doctor without a second thought of how much it's going to cost. We aren't wealthy by any means, and we make sacrifices, but so many people don't have the luxury of treating themselves to football games and the occasional Starbucks, let alone even affording to keep food on the table. We have worked hard for what we have, and I am grateful every single day that I get to be on this Earth because I know life goes by fast. I want to always remember these little blessings and thank God for them every single day.
This is Hard.
12/03/07
Not that anyone told me being a parent to 2 kids would be easy, but this is freaking hard.
Take this last week:
Colby got sick a week ago and is still recovering from it. We have been stuck inside all week long because of it. I ended up spiking a fever which turned out to be Mastitis, so that was crummy. Now Lily has a stuffy nose and keeps sneezing. Not only have I been getting up with Lily multiple times a night to feed her, I have had to console my sick little boy too. As a result, I am so dead tired I have hardly gotten out of my PJs, let alone taken a shower. And since we have to be inside, all we have done is watch tons of Christmas movies and TV. I have had such a short fuse with Colby and I feel bad because I know part of why he's acting up is because he's bored and I'm not doing anything exciting to help him out in that area.
Clint and I got a weekend alone which was awesome, but didn't leave me feeling rested in the least. I slept way more than I normally would, but apparently my body needed more than 2 days to catch up on sleep.
Last night was the worst. Lily is apparently going through a growth spurt and is super fussy and eating every hour. I was up every single hour last night for at least 15-20 minutes each time. Colby woke up a couple of times too. And at 3am he woke up completely freaking out. When I couldn't console him I completely lost it and Clint had to help me out. Thank God I have such an amazing husband.
To make matters even worse, Lily isn't latching on right, so my nipples (sorry TMI) are in bad shape. It feels like she is going to rip them off at every feeding. I am trying to get in to see a lactation consultant ASAP, but until then it is horribly painful every time she nurses, which is still every hour.
And right now, Colby is playing with cars on his wall instead of napping and Lily is crying and all I want to do is freaking SLEEP.
This is so hard, this sucks so much, and I know it will pass. But for right now I just want to run far, far away.
ETA:
I just took the kids on a drive to get them to nap. Colby is out like a light and Lily is as alert as can be. Awesome.
Not that anyone told me being a parent to 2 kids would be easy, but this is freaking hard.
Take this last week:
Colby got sick a week ago and is still recovering from it. We have been stuck inside all week long because of it. I ended up spiking a fever which turned out to be Mastitis, so that was crummy. Now Lily has a stuffy nose and keeps sneezing. Not only have I been getting up with Lily multiple times a night to feed her, I have had to console my sick little boy too. As a result, I am so dead tired I have hardly gotten out of my PJs, let alone taken a shower. And since we have to be inside, all we have done is watch tons of Christmas movies and TV. I have had such a short fuse with Colby and I feel bad because I know part of why he's acting up is because he's bored and I'm not doing anything exciting to help him out in that area.
Clint and I got a weekend alone which was awesome, but didn't leave me feeling rested in the least. I slept way more than I normally would, but apparently my body needed more than 2 days to catch up on sleep.
Last night was the worst. Lily is apparently going through a growth spurt and is super fussy and eating every hour. I was up every single hour last night for at least 15-20 minutes each time. Colby woke up a couple of times too. And at 3am he woke up completely freaking out. When I couldn't console him I completely lost it and Clint had to help me out. Thank God I have such an amazing husband.
To make matters even worse, Lily isn't latching on right, so my nipples (sorry TMI) are in bad shape. It feels like she is going to rip them off at every feeding. I am trying to get in to see a lactation consultant ASAP, but until then it is horribly painful every time she nurses, which is still every hour.
And right now, Colby is playing with cars on his wall instead of napping and Lily is crying and all I want to do is freaking SLEEP.
This is so hard, this sucks so much, and I know it will pass. But for right now I just want to run far, far away.
ETA:
I just took the kids on a drive to get them to nap. Colby is out like a light and Lily is as alert as can be. Awesome.
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