Lindsay's Thoughts.

Blog moved!

2010-02-18T14:33:00.000-08:00

Here's my new blog: http://blog.lindsaymaddox.com

Stop on by!

Lins

Pro Choice AND Pro Life... is it possible?

2008-10-27T18:55:00.000-07:00

I believe it is. Here's my take on it:

http://sillymomthoughts.today.com/2008/10/27/slightly-contradictory/

I'm a Grandma!

2008-10-21T15:01:00.000-07:00

If you need a chuckle...

http://sillymomthoughts.today.com/2008/10/21/im-a-grandma/

Hee hee!

My Blog Moved!

2008-10-17T14:19:00.001-07:00

To my wonderful blog readers:

My blog is new and improved and has moved to this site:

http://sillymomthoughts.today.com

I hope you visit me there!

Love, Lins

My new words to live by.

2008-07-23T09:35:00.000-07:00

I want to succeed doing what I love. Yet, every time I think about taking that next step, the plunge into my hopeful career, I get cold feet. What if they don't like me? What if my writing sucks? What if someone else can do it waaaay better than me?

This kind of self-destructive thought has got to stop. I need to think, "Why not me?" If I sit here, with all of these ideas that I personally find interesting and amusing, and do not submit them, I am doing myself an incredible disservice. So what if I get rejected? At least I played the game. One (or two, or three, or fifty) rejections doesn't mean anything, except that I need to keep trying and continue learning.

The crazy thing is that I haven't been rejected yet. I have a couple of pieces that I'm waiting to hear back from. What is the deal with my irrational fear of rejection? It's not like magazine editors are going to write back:

Dear Lindsay,

I'm sorry, we cannot use your piece in our magazine. Because you submitted it to us and we aren't using it, we have to hunt you down and kill you. Best of luck in your future endeavors.

Regards,
Editor

Really, the worst they can say is "No thank you" or nothing at all. How does that saying go? "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again."

Here's an excellent quote from a blog I read recently, authored by the talented Tim Ferriss:

If you are insecure, guess what? The rest of the world is too. Do not overestimate the competition and underestimate yourself. You are better than you think.

(Read the whole blog here)

So, before I think about "If at first you don't succeed..." I need to borrow the Little Engine That Could's Mantra, "I think I can, I think I can, I think I can!"

Adoption Article!

2008-06-05T18:08:00.000-07:00

I entered this article to win a $5,000 writing challenge. The topic had to answer the question, "What's Next?" and explain why my topic was going to break out in a new way this next year. I chose to write about adoption! Here's the article, if you'd like to check it out:

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/803183/social_and_mental_evolution_will_lead.html?cat=25

Need some new music?

2008-05-29T16:26:00.000-07:00

Check this out! (I wrote it!)

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/750505/music_to_your_ears_part_i_add_something.html

Adoption Fundraiser TODAY!

2008-05-21T08:56:00.000-07:00

We are so lucky to have such great support! Marin is a friend that I grew up with and asked if she could help us out raising money. I said, "Heck yeah!"

Come help us out w/ our adoption fundraiser and support a local crafter at the same time.
Marin makes some super cool stuff, great for gifts or to keep for yourself!

Marin said this so well, I don't want to change it, so I'm just reposting!

♥♥♥ It Takes A Village to Bring Home a Child ♥♥♥
,,,
My friend Lindsay is beginning the process of adopting a child with her husband, Clint. It's going to be a long and expensive journey.

The cost of adoption is about $15,000!

Want to help out? Check out my online store: www.marin.etsy.com.

Starting TODAY 5/21-5/28, I will be donating 15% of the total sales to the adoption fund!

If you'd like to read more about Lindsay's family and their decision to adopt, check out her blog: www.yougrewinourhearts.blogspot.com

♥ Want a bonus $25 shopping spree? Send me your email address, I'll send you a referral for Revolution Money Exchange. It's a money exchange service that works like paypal, but without fees.

You'll get $25 for signing up, I'll get a $10 referral bonus, which will also be fully donated to Lindsay's baby fund!

Thanks for all your support, prayers, and encouragement, it means so much to me!!

You don't need this baby crap!

2008-05-12T14:53:00.001-07:00

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/759047/baby_items_you_probably_wont_need.html

I don't think so anyway.

Bring it on.

2008-05-07T10:38:00.001-07:00

I feel like I've been tested this week, big time. It's almost as if God is saying, "Okay, Lindsay, you're thinking about adopting another kid (or two)? Can you handle a lot more of this?!" And I so totally can!

It started on about Wednesday when Colby started getting this awful cold. He got up a couple of times, in addition to Lily's usual 2 or 3 night wakings. Friday night, Lily started getting sick and was up even more frequently. Saturday I was out with friends until 3am and woke up at 7:45, so that was my fault, but totally worth it since I really needed a break. Sunday night, Lily was incredibly miserable and I was up with her most of the night. It all came to a head on Monday night, when I was up with her until 3:45am. I hand her off to Clint who gets her to sleep in 15 minutes (go figure), and I sleep from about 4 to 6am. I was so miserably tired the entire day yesterday.

BUT, I made a vow. Not only am I going to pass this test, and function despite my sleep deprivation, but I will also be downright bubbly. And, for the most part I am! (When I told my dad this yesterday, he says, "Yeah, you may be happy and bubbly, but your eyes look like if you closed them for more than a couple of seconds you'd fall asleep where you stand." Thanks Dad. )

So to this I say, bring it ON. I am so ready to take on another kid, and can't WAIT to start the adoption process. (Check out my blog for more info.)

And, things are looking up. Despite Colby waking up twice last night, and Lily waking up three, I actually feel like I got some sleep. And, I may be getting their cold, but I'm pumping myself up with Vitamin C and Zinc and will fight it tooth and nail. I think we're over the worst of it though. Lily and Colby are both doing MUCH better.

Oh! And I realized today a few reasons why Lily has been miserable. One, obviously the cold, complete with an ear infection. Two, she popped 2 teeth through between Thursday and yesterday. Three, if you haven't heard of the Wonder Weeks and you have babies, you need to check this article out:

http://www.cyh.com/HealthTopics/HealthTopicDetails.aspx?p=114&np=122&id=2312

Lily is suddenly sitting up longer, rolling over more, and making new noises today. I wonder if the Wonder Weeks had something to do with her fussiness.

Anyway, I don't mean to toot my own horn and brag here, but I'm pretty proud of myself, and Clint too. He has been helping me out so much with the kids at night, even though he has to get up and work in the morning and come home and study. (He has a test on Friday, please pray pray pray that he passes!!!!)

Okay, I think I'm done rambling. Thank you if you made it this far.

I've been published!

2008-05-01T15:38:00.000-07:00

Associated Content has accepted my article and published me on their site! This is very exciting for me because I have the opportunity to make some extra money doing what I love.

Here's a link to the article:

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/743931/make_a_mothers_day_time_capsule.html

It's just a starter, but I will hopefully be writing even better ones soon!

Yay!

Tribute to Coffee

2008-05-01T08:58:00.001-07:00

First love in life: My Family
Second love: Coffee

Oh coffee, how I do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

When I am up with my children in the late hours of the night, or the wee hours of the morning, you are there to remind me: "Regardless of the amount of sleep you get, you can count on me to get you through tomorrow."

You sit perched on my countertop, a pod in the Senseo or ground in Mr. Coffee, ready to brew at a moment's notice. You have never let me down (except when I bought that cheap nasty stuff from WinCo, but we'll let that one slide since it was really my fault).

Your delicious aroma drifts through my house and makes it really feel like home.

I firmly believe that you are best served with friends. The best and most insightful conversations happen over a good cup 'o joe. Plus, it's just nice using coffee as an excuse to get together with friends to chat.

I love your flexibility. You blend well with creamer, or taste wonderful as a Double Tall Nonfat Caramel Macciato. You're good iced or hot, but not so much lukewarm. That's okay though, nobody's perfect.

I owe many days of productivity to you, and your wonderful companion caffeine. So thank you. Thank you for being so great. Now, I'm off to enjoy my first cup of the day. Mmmmmmm.

Help us win $100 for adoption expenses!

2008-04-30T12:14:00.000-07:00

We realize $100 isn't much in the whole scheme of adoption expenses, but every little bit counts, right?

It's easy! Click the link below and vote 5 stars.

Thank you soooo much.

Wanted: Baby to add to awesomeness of our family.

Vote: 1 2 3 4 5

Tribute to my family

2008-04-29T10:13:00.001-07:00

For Lily:

I love that you go to sleep with a big gummy grin on your face, and it comes back the second you wake up (even at naptime!).

I love that when you smile, your eyes totally disappear (which is a pretty big deal since you have such big eyes).

I love making you giggle, watching you get sleepy, and scooping you into my arms.

I love how you grab my face and play with my sweatshirt strings when you're nursing.

I love how you look at me like I am the most amazing person ever.

I love how you look at Daddy like he's a close second in amazing-ness.

I absolutely love that you think Colby is the coolest thing since mashed peas, and no one else can make you laugh like he does.

For Colby:

I love how much you love your little "Sipper" Lily.

I love the big grin on your face when you go to sleep, and the same bright eyes when you wake up (except at naptime).

I love that you have started saying, "Huh?" when someone says, "Hey Colby!" it cracks me up.

I love that you are such a happy boy, and always trying to make friends with other kids.

I love that you are beginning to become the spitting image of your Daddy.

I love that you have such a big heart.

For Clint:

I love that you are the father of my children.

I love that we met when we did and how we did, I love telling our story.

I love that you find me sexy, even when I haven't showered, am covered in breastmilk and spitup, and otherwise resemble the walking dead.

I love your perseverance; when it is important to you, you do not take no for an answer.

I love that we always do things the "hard way."

I love that I can't write half of the things I love about you here , because they're just between us.

Down With Mommy Guilt!

2008-04-25T10:13:00.000-07:00

Seriously ladies, we have to stop this. Mommy Guilt is making us nothing but crazy!

My Philosophy No. 1: If it's only temporary, don't worry about it!

For 2 months after bringing Lily home from the hospital, we watched movie after movie, day after day. I was too tired to even attempt any kind of activity with Colby, and the weather wasn't cooperating for outdoor fun. After we finally found a routine with our new little one, I vowed NEVER to watch that many movies again.

And then winter hit. Unless you have a super-human immune system, you can sympathize with how those long months went. One week we're fine, the next sick as dogs. The week after that, we stay inside just to be safe, but we end up sick anyway. This charade went on for months. I broke my anti-movie vow, and succumbed to day after day of watching Cars. "KaChow!"

Is Colby dumber for it? No. (Although now he can recite some lines of his favorite movies.) Does he have less of an imagination? I'm going to say emphatically, no. (Case in point: a couple of days ago I watched him run towards the sun yelling, "I catch you!")

It was temporary, and we're no worse for the wear. And I'm sure we'll do it again many, many more times in the future.

My Philosophy No. 2: If you have no control over it, don't worry about it.

Colby was a BIG baby. I often worried about his size since he was soooo much bigger than his infant counterparts. But, I was assured that he was healthy, and has since evened out. More recently, I have worried that his language skills aren't up to where they should be, as compared to other kids his age. But his vocabulary has recently exploded, so there was no point worrying.

On the other side, Lily is a peanut and pretty small for her age. I take one look at her beautiful, beefy thunder thighs and know that she's healthy. She doesn't like to roll either, but I know she could if she wanted to, so I'm choosing not to worry about it.

My kids are fed and their brains and bodies nurtured. I take them to the doctor when they're sick, feed them when they're hungry, and hug them when they need hugs. These are the things I have power over. Everything beyond that is not worth worrying about, because it isn't mine to control.

My Philosophy No. 3: If it means getting a break, don't worry about it!

This is so important, I almost think it should be No. 1. We work so hard as moms, for little thanks in return. (Sure, hugs and kisses are wonderful and heartwarming, but they don't take the knots out of my back or paint my nails pretty colors.) All of this hard work deserves a break here and there. When you are given the opportunity for an evening, weekend, or week away, take it and don't feel guilty about it. You're allowed to miss your kiddos if you're gone a while, but please don't feel like you're being a "bad mom" for having time for yourself. It may come as a shock, but our kids sometimes need a break from us too. And, while you're out on a date with your hubby, or getting pedicures with your girlfriends, your kids are probably having the time of their lives getting spoiled by grandparents or wrestling with Daddy. You NEED time away to be a good parent, so don't feel bad for taking that opportunity. That's an order soldier.

My Philosophy No. 4: Kids don't eat healthy all the time, so don't worry about it.

We have a rule in our house. If you don't like what Mommy makes for dinner, then you don't eat. I think it's a great rule, when I actually cook...

I've been doing better about making healthy meals since I've been trying to lose weight, but in that time after bringing Lily home, and again during the succeeding endless sickies, we had a whole lot of takeout and pizza. I tried to convince myself that there was something healthy in Colby's meal (Cheese is calcium! Pepperoni is protein! At least he has apples with his Fatty McNuggets dipped in more Fatty Goodness, right?), but realized it really was all crap. I took solace in knowing it was only temporary. And it was! Now, we're eating healthy again, and he's getting homemade (read: microwaved) chicken nuggets dipped in low fat goodness. (Okay, we're working on expanding his menu.) But the point is that there are always going to be times when we don't eat great, and that's okay.

My overall philosophy to banishing Mommy Guilt:

If it doesn't kill or seriously hurt them, don't worry about it!

They'll live, they'll be just fine. I promise. And you'll feel less crazy and have more time to occupy your mind with more constructive things. Like creating the healthiest, nummiest pizza and chicken nuggets ever. (Send me the recipe when you figure it out. )

I found this article from Parenting Magazine called Kiss Mommy Guilt Goodbye, it's a good one! http://www.parenting.com/article/Mom/Relationships/Kiss-Mommy-Guilt-Goodbye/1

Stop feeling guilty, you are a GREAT mom, simply for the reason that you love your kids so much to worry about them.

You are not alone.

2008-04-24T16:27:00.001-07:00

This is dedicated to a couple of people in particular (and you know who you are), but I think it will ring true for many more.

You are not alone in this wild ride of motherhood.

Many a mother past, present and future has been through exactly what you're going through.

We have all checked our newborns (and toddlers!) at night to make sure they're still breathing.

We have all yelled too much, and slept (and showered) too little.

We have been hit, kicked, and scratched by our children more times than we care to admit.

We have doubted our abilities to parent these strange creatures called children, and often wondered if someone else might do a better job.

We have all felt mommy guilt over everything from nutrition (nuggets and mac 'n cheese anyone?) to movie watching (is 3 movies a day excessive?).

(Don't even get me started on that mommy guilt, that's a whole other blog for another time.)

We have all worried, worried, WORRIED over everything else!

But we have ALL been there in one capacity or another. We understand when you are too tired to function, your house is a mess, and you just want to crawl into a hole and sleep (or read, or anything, so long as it's quiet).

When we offer to help, please take us up on it because we have been there. We wouldn't have made it through if people didn't offer to help us. If we offer, we really truly want to help you out, it is not an imposition. So please, help us help you. Let us come over and do your laundry and take your kids for the day so you can relax. Call us when you're stressed and vent your little heart out. And for goodness sakes, do not get dressed all pretty when you come to our house (unless you want to), since sweatpants and a sweatshirt are perfectly acceptable playdate/coffee chatting attire.

But most of all, ask for help! We are happy to give it, and love doing it.

You are not alone, we are all in this together.

It takes a village to raise a child, right?

Weight loss stuff again.

2008-04-24T16:26:00.000-07:00

It has already been another month since I did my goal re-evaluation! Time to do it again, and make sure I'm on track.

My goals:

~~First weight loss goal:~~ ~~Be back to prepregnancy weight by Valentine's Day (0 lbs from current weight)~~ Completed 02/04/08

~~Next weight loss goal:~~ ~~Be back to wedding weight by April 1st~~
Completed 04/01/08

Final weight loss goal: Be at my ideal weight (7.5 lbs from current weight) by June 1st

Total: Lose 39 lbs
Current weight loss: 31.5 lbs!!

This chart shows my progress towards my last goal of 125 lbs.

My Weight Chart:

Measurements (Dec./Jan./Feb./Mar./Apr.)

Waist: 33.5"/33.0"/31.5"/30.5"/29.5"
Stomach: 40"/39.5"/37.25/36.5"/35.25
Neck: 13.25"/Same/Same/13"/13"

I love taking measurements! It is a much better indicator of my weight loss than my actual weight.

Adoption?

2008-04-22T13:05:00.000-07:00

Are we really considering this? Are we totally insane?

Yep!

We have talked about adopting since we were first dating. We definitely don't feel like our family is complete at two kids and would love to open our home and our hearts to a little one who deserves the love of a family. I've actually been having this really weird "phantom child" feeling the past couple of months. All 4 of us will be in the room together, and I have this very strong feeling that someone is missing. I think it's our 3rd kid!

So, we have started to tentatively, yet pretty seriously, talk about adoption. It may seem soon to be talking about adding another kiddo to our family, given that Lily is almost only 6 months old, but depending on which route we take, this whole process could take quite a while.

Our initial thought was to adopt domestically, through DSHS. This is the most cost effective, and potentially the quickest route. Our major concern here is wanting a closed adoption, with no contact with birth family. This is because we already have kids at home to look out for, and we feel like they don't need that extra potential drama in their lives, and it could be very confusing for our adopted child too. Additionally, we worry about the possibility of caring for our adopted child for a while, and he/she somehow being taken away from us and given back to their birth family. That would be hugely devastating for us, and especially confusing for Colby and Lily.

Personally (and Clint is definitely not against this option), I would love, love, LOVE to adopt a child from Korea. In the research I have done so far, it seems as though kids from there are very well taken care of and have had excellent health care. Another plus, is that they can be escorted to the U.S. without us having to make a costly trip to Seoul. If we did adopt a child from there, we would love for him/her to be able to visit there someday, but for now, with 2 little ones at home already (not to mention the cost), it would be easier in the long run to be able to pick them up at the airport. In addition, this would mean that neither Clint nor I would be suffering from jet lag, which would help us help our adopted child to adjust.

The one major issue with international adoption is cost. It is extremely expensive. There are quite a few grant opportunities out there, and Clint's looking to see if his work offers any kind of reimbursement, but unless we can find lots of assistance, we cannot go that route. By one calculation I saw, it was something along the lines of $25,000 with all application fees, homestudy, escort, and other adoption fees. There is an option to take out a loan, but we aren't really comfortable doing that. We will already have to get a bigger car, so that's a big enough loan in itself.

No matter which route we take, we are open to any race, either gender, but want a child who is younger than Lily (we don't want to mess with the birth order, LOL). I think a child around 4-6 months would be SO perfect. But, we're not super picky. :)

Anyway, we are definitely just in the thinking stage, but are doing research and figuring out if this is something we want to do. If we do ultimately decide to go for it, it won't be until after Clint passes his CPA exam. We need to get that out of the way first!

So, wish us luck, and patience (and money). I'll be sure to keep you updated when we really do get things going.

I am officially spoiled.

2008-04-05T21:05:00.000-07:00

Whatever I did to deserve such generous people in my life, I don't know, but I am definitely not complaining!

Yesterday Clint called his mom up at about 2pm. This is how the conversation went (slightly abbreviated):

Clint: Guess what mom? Colby has been talking about you all day and said he wanted to see you!

Mom: He did?

Clint: Yeah! And Lily was talking about you too!

Mom: Wow, that's amazing.

Clint: They said they want you to watch them tonight.

Mom: Okay, I'll take them.

Clint: And keep them overnight until tomorrow evening.

Mom: Sounds good! Just let me know when you want to drop them off.

And so, with very short notice, Clint's parents took on the fun of watching our 2.5 year old and 5 month old for over 24 hours. This left us to have a fantastic night of chatting it up and drinking with our neighbors, plenty of *ahem* alone time, and I even got to spend all of Saturday reading, drinking coffee, and shopping. I even took a nap in my car, enjoying the nice warm sunshine and comfortable breeze. I don't remember the last time I was able to do that. (By the way, I don't drive places just to take naps in the car, I was waiting for Clint to get off work so we could drive home.) Then, just before they arrived with the kids, Clint and I were able to do a decent clean up of our house. How much better could it get?

A LOT better!

Clint's dad came in the door with a box and said, "Lins, I was going to try to mess with you, but then I thought, 'Aw, heck with it, I'll just give it to her,'" and he handed me a box. I opened it up and saw the word "Inspiron" and thought to myself (or did I actually say it out loud?) "No WAY." His dad pulled from the box a 17" Dell Inspiron Laptop computer!!! I have been obsessing over getting a laptop for a couple of months now, but had given up hope of getting one any time soon. I had mentioned wanting one to him, and he searched and searched and finally found this one at a great deal. He got Clint in on it, and they split the cost. How do I deserve to be so spoiled?

I tell ya, if I was the crying type, I would've been in tears. Instead, I clapped my hands, squealed, and said, "Thank you, thank you , thank you" and "I'm SO excited" over and over again.

So, this is my first blog on my new, pretty green computer! I cannot tell you how excited and thankful I am to have this wonderful gift. I have such an amazing, generous family! Man, I hit the jackpot.

More weight loss stuff.

2008-03-18T15:43:00.000-07:00

I wanted a refresher on goals and to see how far I've come, so I'm going to brag about myself for a bit.

I haven't been blogging lately because I'm working on another writing project, so my creativity has been tapped out! But, I wanted to make sure I have all of my weight loss stuff on track, so here goes:

December 2007 (153 lbs)

March 2008 (137 lbs)

My goals:

~~First weight loss goal:~~ ~~Be back to prepregnancy weight by Valentine's Day (0 lbs from current weight)~~ Completed 02/04/08

Next weight loss goal: Be back to wedding weight by April 1st (2 lbs from current weight)

Final weight loss goal: Be at my ideal weight (12 lbs from current weight)

Total: Lose 39 lbs
Current weight loss: 27 lbs!!

This chart shows my progress towards my second goal of 135 lbs. (Which I'm 2 lbs away from, wohoo!)

My Weight Chart:

Measurements (Dec./Jan./Feb./Mar.):

Waist: 33.5"/33.0"/31.5"/30.5"
Stomach: 40"/39.5"/37.25/36.5"
Neck: 13.25"/Same/Same/13"

No such thing as Supermom.

2008-02-23T14:56:00.000-08:00

This blog was inspired by a conversation I had last night with my friend Kendra. Just had to give her some props for that.

I want to say something that I often need to hear from others when I'm feeling like I am at my wits end and all alone in this wild ride called motherhood:

There is no such thing as Supermom.

I think I’m a pretty together person, but I would never consider myself a Supermom, and I’m going to throw myself under the bus here and tell you why.

Lets start out with the house:

My house is a mess. There are dishes in my sink and laundry piled up, both ready to be folded and ready to go into the wash. My floors need to be vacuumed and mopped, and don't even ask me what my toilets and showers look like. I am currently sitting in a room littered with cereal crumbs and dried up Play-dough, at a desk cluttered by water bottles, an empty coffee cup, and a plate from lunch.

Then, there are the kids:

There are days when I beat myself up that I didn't spend enough time with my kids, or that I yelled too much and didn't have enough patience. There are days when I stick Colby in front of movie after movie because I am just so darn tired.

My insane ball of energy (a.k.a. High Spirited Child) is a great kid, but there are some days when he gets under my skin. I always love him, but there have been many instances in the recent past when it has taken all of my energy not to eat my young. (This was the phrase Kendra used, and it is so relevant, I had to borrow it.) I can tell myself “This too shall pass” until I’m blue in the face, but the fact of the matter is this: When I am in those situations where my kid is throwing tantrums, screaming, hitting, and otherwise resembling a mental patient, there is no “shall pass,” there is only right now. In my mind, I cannot think past what is happening at that precise moment. In those moments, I am definitely not Supermom, I am merely hanging by my fingernails for dear life, hoping it will all be over soon.

There’s also nutrition:

I always have the intention to make wonderful, healthy meals for my family every night, but to be quite honest, there are weeks when we eat so much take-out, that I'm pretty sure McDonalds’ stock sees a significant jump. Colby has gone record-holding stints of only eating microwaved nuggets and corn, and I’m just happy that there’s at least a veggie included in that meal.

I have this image that I am going to stay in shape and have an awesome figure. Yes, I have been losing weight, and I hope to tone up a bit, but I’m never going to have that body back that I had in high school. After all, I did put myself through the body-mutilating process of pregnancy twice so far. I’m not going to look exactly the same again and that’s okay because I have beautiful kids to show for it! (Even if they do drive me nuts sometimes.)

I write this because I think more moms out there need to know that they aren’t alone in their world. We all have messy houses most of the time (and in my case, pretty much all the time). We all want to run far, far away from our kids when they are acting like maniacs. We have stretch marks and doughy mid-sections and thighs. We don’t shave our legs regularly, and sometimes we don’t even shower regularly either. We sometimes eat way too much pizza and hamburgers, because we can’t stand the thought of making another dinner. And ya know what? It’s okay! Ya know why?

There is no such thing as Supermom!

A Balanced Life

2008-02-21T14:43:00.000-08:00

It may be my caffeine induced, rested state, or the fact that by some miracle both of my children are napping at the same time, but I feel like I need to write today. The problem is, I don't know what to write about. I guess I'll keep typing and see where my fingers take me.

Lately I have been realizing something about myself. Or maybe that isn't the way to put it, maybe I have been figuring myself out, learning who this Lindsay person is. I am Clint's wife, definitely. I am the mother of Colby and Lily, sister to Corey, daughter to Kerry and Heidi. I could go on, and on. (For a really long time too, I have seriously 60+ cousins, not to mention numerous aunts and uncles. But I will spare you those snooze-worthy details.)

What I am coming to realize lately, is that I am so much more than these titles show. I love my children to the ends of the earth and back, but to say they are my entire life would be a lie. And really, I would hate it if my entire life revolved around my children. That sounds harsh, but think about it: if your whole existence was based on diapers, The Potty (I put it in caps because it's that big of a deal), spit up, endless streams of Shrek and Nemo, mindless games of Playdough and choo-choo trains, tantrums, and macaroni and cheese, you'd probably be totally miserable. At least I know I would be. I think what I'm learning is that life is all about balance.

First and foremost, I need time for me. Without time to myself to, I dunno, read, write, pick my nose, whatever suits my fancy, I cannot be a good anything to anybody. (Okay, pick my nose might be a little extreme, but I had to make sure you were still paying attention. Are you? Great!) I have to capture these precious moments whenever they come my way, because they're certainly not every day. But when I do get a chance to be with myself, I am a happier person. (I don't mean be with myself like that, come on now, gutter brain.)

Second, I am lucky enough to be married to the best man on Earth. (No joke, I'm pretty sure he could win contests.) It is extremely important to us to keep our relationship alive. We are teaching our children how to be in a relationship and how to treat the opposite sex. If we let our marriage fall by the way-side, we're only doing our kids damage. Therefore, I do not feel guilty when we ship them off to the grandparent's for the weekend, or go out for the evening. I have no regrets when we put them to bed early for the night just so we can have some alone time. (Now that was intended to be a little dirty, you can bring your gutter brain back.)

And finally, I have a few really great friends. I need time with them. It could be in my pajamas, no makeup, and slightly smelling of coffee breath with my neighbor, while our boys pummel eachother and we play referee, or out with that same neighbor getting our groove on sans kiddos. It could be a night of poker, board games, and a fair amount of booze with long time friends. It could really be any other random play date where I get to chat with my mommy-buds. (That's when we start conversations that I realize hours later never ended because we got distracted by something our kids were doing. That always cracks me up.) I would have to include my family in here as well, because they're incredibly entertaining and fun. (Is family supposed to be this cool, or did I just get really freakin' lucky?) But no matter the relationship, new, old, or casual acquaintance, I need these as a part of the balance of my life.

Realizing these things is making me a better person. I know that when I'm super stressed, it's because one of these aspects in my life is out of balance. Usually, that is time to myself, and fortunately it is the easiest to fix. Not to get all religious here, but if I only have a couple of minutes to myself, lets say, in the shower, a quick prayer of, "Thank You for the wonderful blessings in my life. Please help me get through today with patience, grace, and as little yelling as possible," usually does a good quick fix for me. At least until I can get some real time to myself. You know, when the kids are miraculously napping at the same time?

Exercise: Feb. 10-16

2008-02-10T21:58:00.000-08:00

This week's goals:

*Do vigorous activity 30-45 mins every day
(210-315 mins/wk)
*Don't eat after 8pm
*Drink 64 oz water/day
*Stay w/in points range (28-31)

What I have accomplished this week:

Sunday:
-Exercise: None.
-Water: 30oz.
-Eat after 8pm?: Yes.
-Points: 28

Thursday:
-Exercise: None
-Water:
-Eat after 8pm?: Yes.
-Points: 29

Friday:
-Exercise: None
-Water: 80oz.
-Eat after 8pm?: Yep!
-Points: 49 (17 extra pts left for wk.)

Saturday:
-Exercise: Yes.
-Water:
-Eat after 8pm?: Yes.
-Points: 39-4 Activity=35

Total activity pts: 4

Total time worked out: 2 hrs

Reflections:

Thursday: I have been SO sick this week, so I haven't been counting points or anything. I'm back on track today though. I really need to start putting more exercise into my day!

My goals:

~~First weight loss goal:~~ ~~Be back to prepregnancy weight by Valentine's Day (0 lbs from current weight)~~ Completed 02/04/08

Next weight loss goal: Be back to wedding weight by April 1st (10 lbs from current weight)

Final weight loss goal: Be at my ideal weight (10 lbs from wedding weight)

Total: Lose 34 lbs!!

Exercise: Feb 3-9

2008-02-04T22:22:00.000-08:00

This week's goals:

*Do vigorous activity 30-45 mins every day
(210-315 mins/wk)
*Don't eat after 8pm
*Drink 64 oz water/day
*Stay w/in points range (28-33)

What I have accomplished this week:

Monday:
-Exercise: Dance w/ Colby 30 mins
-Water:
-Eat after 8pm?: Yes.
-Points: 25

Tuesday:
-Exercise: None.
-Water: 51 oz.
-Eat after 8pm?: No.
-Points: 31.5

Wednesday:
-Exercise: 45 mins walk wearing Lily
-Water: 40 oz.
-Eat after 8pm?: No.
-Points: 27

Thursday:
-Exercise: None
-Water: 70 oz.
-Eat after 8pm?: Nope.
-Points: 31

Total calories burned: 319

Total time worked out: 75 mins

Reflections:

Monday: This is a new week and I'm starting fresh. I did SO bad last week with eating and working out, and surprisingly still lost 1 lb., but I know I won't always be that lucky. I've decided to start Weight Watchers to help me get my food on track, so hopefully that will help a lot. I am excited to say that I am at my prepregnancy weight! I beat my goal by one whole week!

Tuesday: I went under my points yesterday and felt HORRIBLE. I definitely need to consume close to the 30 range while I'm nursing!

Wednesday: I love the wrap I bought! It makes it so much easier to go for walks with the kiddos. I went to the mall today and want to do that again sooner than later. I've been avoiding it because of potty training, but yesterday Colby told me both times he had to go, so I think he has the hang of it and we can venture out of our house more!

I am lovin' the Weight Watchers. Tuesday was tough because I was really super hungry, but today I think I found a good balance and actually had to throw in a little extra at night because I hadn't consumed nearly enough points! Gotta love that predicament. I am learning so much about what I put into my body, it's crazy how much crap I was eating without even realizing it!

Thursday: Today has been mentally and emotionally exhausting with Colby. Actually, this whole week has. I hope and pray next week is better. But, given that stress, I'm really happy that I've been able to keep my eating in check, as I am usually an emotional eater. There's always a silver lining, right?

My goals:

~~First weight loss goal:~~ ~~Be back to prepregnancy weight by Valentine's Day (0 lbs from current weight)~~ Completed 02/04/08

Next weight loss goal: Be back to wedding weight by April 1st (13 lbs from current weight)

Final weight loss goal: Be at my ideal weight (10 lbs from wedding weight)

Total: Lose 34 lbs!!

Monday Vent

2008-02-04T10:49:00.001-08:00

This is going to be whiny, so be prepared.

I am SO done with today!!! I went to bed by 10pm expecting to feel refreshed today, but that so did not happen. Clint got up before 5 to go running (which I'm so proud of him for doing, but it woke me up), Lily got up at 5:30 to eat, and then Colby got up at 6:30. Why the hell does he get up so freaking early???

I try to clean his complete mess of a room, and with each thing I put away, he takes 2 out. So I give him a snack of Goldfish crackers, thinking that might help buy me a couple of minutes to clean. He knocks the entire thing over. In his defense, it was an accident and he tried to clean it up, but as soon as the last fish was back in the bowl, he knocks it over again. This time on purpose. Meanwhile, Lily is fussing despite the fact that I just fed her. I look in her mouth and she STILL has this effing thrush that won't go away!!! She has had it since she was 6 weeks old and is now over 3 months. So I feed her again, and she continues to fuss. She's now on the floor in a little plaything whining because nothing I do seems to help.

Colby, after spilling crackers everywhere, decided to grab his Cheerios from this morning and spill them all over my bed while I'm going to the bathroom and commences jumping on them. (Thankfully they were dry, as I didn't give them to him with milk this morning.)

My kitchen is trashed, the dishes are spilling out of the sink and don't smell very good. Every SINGLE room in this house needs to be picked up and the bathrooms could totally use a scrub. I need to vacuum and do laundry. There is so much I have to do, in fact, that I am overwhelmed even thinking about it. Normally Clint would come home and help out, but not only is he studying for what I can only hope, pray and BEG is his last CPA exam, he is working late because it's busy season. What is infuriating about the messy house is that each of these rooms was clean just a matter of days ago, but you'd never know by the way they look now!

I am so frustrated, so done with today. I was all set to write a funny/silly blog on Mommy Guilt and how we should stop feeling guilty about all of this stuff, but today I just need to vent. If you made it this far, thanks for listening to me whine.

(Wow, I'm shocked that I even got to write this thing with minimal interruptions. Maybe I should give cleaning another shot...)

ETA: It is now 1pm and things are looking up. I called my friend Kendra to vent (and while I was on the phone Colby dumped out ALL of the toys I had just cleaned up, awesome) and she suggested taking a 15 min timeout with Colby to just play what he wanted. (She has twins, she knows what she's talking about.) We ended up playing blocks and then dancing for an hour and wouldn'tcha know he was suddenly not such a stinker? Why didn't I think of that? So now my dishes are almost done, I realized what was making my kitchen smell (milk in a cereal bowl from Saturday, my bad), and Colby's going down for a nap. Lily is less fussy and I'm more awake thanks to 2 strong cups of coffee. The world is right once again.

Extraordinary Talent

2008-01-31T21:34:00.000-08:00

I cannot count the number of times in my life that I have wished for some extraordinary talent. As a child I wanted more than anything to be a singer. I went through another phase where I hoped to play the violin professionally. As I grew older and went to college (and came down to Earth), I wished I could be a successful, charismatic business woman who rocketed her way to the top.

But never had I wished for such talent than the moment my babies entered this world, and still to this day. How badly I wish that I were an amazing artist so I could perfectly capture so many sweet moments.

If only I could paint the many kisses on chubby cheeks and bellies, or photograph the silly games of Duck Duck Goose and Mommy Chase Me While Growling Like A Monster. If only I could compose the perfect sonata to capture the slow dances to music that brings tears to my eyes, and the booty shakin' boogies that make me tear up with laughter.

Truthfully though, even if I had the talent, it wouldn't do these moments justice. Even the most talented artist, photographer, or composer could not truly capture raw, down to the core, heart wrenching, feeling.

It is impossible to photograph the smell of lavender shampoo infused with spit up on my precious baby girl. You cannot paint the overwhelming pride I feel when my son pees on the potty or gives his sister soft kisses. There is no way to compose the feeling of heartbreak and yet sense of being needed when my little one is sick or hurt. It is impossible to show the way my heart melts when I see the love of my life loving our babies.

I may not be as talented in the areas that I would like, but I am thankful for my memories. I thank God for the simple little moments, smells, and feelings that make this life worth living.

Exercise: Jan 28.- Feb. 2

2008-01-28T22:32:00.000-08:00

I have been doing this blog on MySpace, but I figured I'd keep it going here too!

This week's goals:

*Do vigorous activity 30-45 mins every day
(210-315 mins)
*Don't eat after 8pm
*Drink 64 oz water/day

What I have accomplished this week:

Sunday:
-Exercise: 3 miles in 1 hr 30 mins
-Water: ??
-Eat after 8pm?: Nope.

Monday:
-Exercise: Pilates 45 mins.
-Water:
-Eat after 8pm?: No.

Tuesday:
-Exercise: Walk 1 mile in 30 mins., Strength training 45 mins.
-Water: 49oz.
-Eat after 8pm?: No.

Total calories burned: 526

Total time worked out: 240

Reflections:

Sunday: We got a little snow today, so we took a walk as a family to the store for some groceries. The snow was melted by the time we got back, but it was still a great walk!

Monday: I had to force myself to do Pilates today. I really didn't want to, but I am glad I did. Based on my last workout blog, it looks like I have been slacking off on working out, but I haven't. I've been finding it difficult to find time to exercise, so during the day I make sure Colby and I dance for 30-60 minutes. That way, it's fun for him and a great workout for me!

I'm getting a little bit discouraged though. I know I have lost weight because the scale shows that, but I don't feel like I look any different. I hope that changes soon. And, how is it possible that I am only a pound away from my prepregnancy weight, but my prepregnancy jeans don't fit?? That doesn't seem fair at all. Grrrr. (I know, your body changes w/ pregnancy, but dang.)

Tuesday: I am really pushing myself to stay motivated this week. I hope that I show at least a pound of weight loss when I weigh in on Monday. I did strength training during Biggest Loser tonight. Unfortunately I don't know how to calculate the calories burned for it, but that's okay. One question though... why is it that during a show ALL about losing weight, they show a Chili's commercial for a triple thick bacon burger?! Is that cruel torture or what?

My goals:

First weight loss goal: Be back to prepregnancy weight by Valentine's Day (1.5 lbs from current weight)

Next weight loss goal: Be back to wedding weight (13 lbs from prepreg weight)

Final weight loss goal: Be at my ideal weight (10 lbs from wedding weight)

Total: Lose 34 lbs!!

My Morning Adventures

2008-01-14T10:32:00.002-08:00

1/14/08

It's 7:30 am and my first thought is, "I really wish my kids had a snooze button." The second is, "Damn, I need coffee," and thus begins my day.

After crawling out of my warm, cozy bed, I change diapers, get cereal, and heat up our single serve coffee maker. I can almost taste that first warm sip.

Colby is potty training and presently informs me, "Pee pee!" so we run to the bathroom where he sits there playing with the toilet paper and making a teensy little tinkle in the potty. I act like it is the coolest thing in the world and jump around like an idiot clapping and cheering him on. We flush, wash up, and head back to the breakfast table.

I toss out the old coffee pod, put in a new one, and place a cup under the resevior.

Lily starts whining and needs to be fed, so I scoop her up and we plop down on the couch. Colby has Curious George on and even after Lily finishes eating, I sit there watching, as if I hadn't already seen the George Builds a Dam episode 5 times. At this point, I watch Lily rub her eyes and accidentally scratch herself with her fingernails. I grab the clippers and remedy that problem, and then decide to do Colby's. Before that can happen, Colby decides to do his big pee on the floor just feet from the little potty and informs me that I need to go grab a towel.

On my way to the towel, I start brewing the coffee, in hopes that I'll actually be able to drink it.

I clean up the pee, throw a load of towels in the washer, clip Colby's nails, and am shocked that I actually get to have my coffee now. I put in my peppermint creamer and take that first, wonderful, glorious sip. Mmmmm caffeine heaven.

Someone calls about an unpaid bill from Lily's birth and I tell them that I already contacted our insurance because the bill was incorrect. This reminds me that I have some bills to pay.

I pay bills online, get distracted by MySpace Blogging, returning emails, and BabyCenter. There goes 45 minutes.

More pee on the potty, dancing around like a nut, cleaning up accidents, changing diapers, giving medicine, calling doctors to make appointments, and before I know it, the morning has disappeared.

Crap! My coffee! It's 11:30 so I know there is little hope, but I pick it up anyway and take a sip. Blech, it's cold.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow I will be able to drink my whole cup of coffee while it's still nice and warm.

Little Blessings.

2008-01-14T10:32:00.001-08:00

12/12/07

Today is a great day. Thank God for good days, because they're what helps through the more difficult ones, like my last blog.

I am incredibly blessed. This morning it's chilly outside, but the sky has that beautiful overcast wintery look.We're sitting in our warm and cozy house, watching a Christmas movie and snuggling on the couch. I have my nummy cup of coffee with peppermint mocha creamer, and can smell the Christmas tree behind me. Lily is asleep in front of Colby and me, all snuggled in her fleece blanket.

Earlier, the three of us were playing on the floor and Colby gave Lily hugs and kisses while she sat and smiled at him, just beaming at her big brother. At one point I had both kids in my lap, Colby's arm around Lily's back and I thought, "Wow, this is what life is all about. This is love." My house is a total mess and I'm pretty sure there's a dirty diaper hiding somewhere because I keep getting a whiff of it, but I don't care. Right now I'm just enjoying this moment.

How blessed am I... Trying as it may be sometimes, I get to be home and watch my babies grow up. I get to witness every smile, giggle, and step they take. I know I am fortunate. I can go to the grocery store and buy anything we need without having to worry about not having enough money. I can take my kids to the doctor without a second thought of how much it's going to cost. We aren't wealthy by any means, and we make sacrifices, but so many people don't have the luxury of treating themselves to football games and the occasional Starbucks, let alone even affording to keep food on the table. We have worked hard for what we have, and I am grateful every single day that I get to be on this Earth because I know life goes by fast. I want to always remember these little blessings and thank God for them every single day.

This is Hard.

2008-01-14T10:30:00.000-08:00

12/03/07

Not that anyone told me being a parent to 2 kids would be easy, but this is freaking hard.

Take this last week:

Colby got sick a week ago and is still recovering from it. We have been stuck inside all week long because of it. I ended up spiking a fever which turned out to be Mastitis, so that was crummy. Now Lily has a stuffy nose and keeps sneezing. Not only have I been getting up with Lily multiple times a night to feed her, I have had to console my sick little boy too. As a result, I am so dead tired I have hardly gotten out of my PJs, let alone taken a shower. And since we have to be inside, all we have done is watch tons of Christmas movies and TV. I have had such a short fuse with Colby and I feel bad because I know part of why he's acting up is because he's bored and I'm not doing anything exciting to help him out in that area.

Clint and I got a weekend alone which was awesome, but didn't leave me feeling rested in the least. I slept way more than I normally would, but apparently my body needed more than 2 days to catch up on sleep.

Last night was the worst. Lily is apparently going through a growth spurt and is super fussy and eating every hour. I was up every single hour last night for at least 15-20 minutes each time. Colby woke up a couple of times too. And at 3am he woke up completely freaking out. When I couldn't console him I completely lost it and Clint had to help me out. Thank God I have such an amazing husband.

To make matters even worse, Lily isn't latching on right, so my nipples (sorry TMI) are in bad shape. It feels like she is going to rip them off at every feeding. I am trying to get in to see a lactation consultant ASAP, but until then it is horribly painful every time she nurses, which is still every hour.

And right now, Colby is playing with cars on his wall instead of napping and Lily is crying and all I want to do is freaking SLEEP.

This is so hard, this sucks so much, and I know it will pass. But for right now I just want to run far, far away.

ETA:
I just took the kids on a drive to get them to nap. Colby is out like a light and Lily is as alert as can be. Awesome.

Day 57: Baby Fever!

2007-01-12T09:34:00.000-08:00

Friday, January 12th

I have baby fever and I have it BAD! It feels like there are so many people pregnant right now. People from my high school class, people on BabyCenter who had babies in September 2005 like me, people I pass on the street! I haven't had it this bad since, well, since we decided to get pregnant with Colby. Man, trying to get pregnant was SO fun. Hopefully it works as fast next time.

I have to remind myself that it isn't a ton of fun being pregnant. First, when I find out I'm pregnant I worry incessantly about miscarrying, even though I know that's a stupid thing to worry about since there's nothing I can do about it. Then, there's the morning sickness for at least 3 months, and this time around I have a 1 year old to chase around and change his poopy diapers. Ew. Then there's the whole weird in-between time when you're not really showing and just look fat. That isn't so much fun. And of course, the end of the pregnancy boasts the lovely "big as a house" feeling. Add to that we are still living in this small apartment far away from our family and it really would SUCK to have a baby soon. Not to mention it feels like Colby just starting sleeping through the night not that long ago and that would be thrown out the window as soon as a little one arrived. And I'm just remembering being wet all the time that first month or two from breastfeeding, ewww.

But there are so many more awesome things about little babies!! You get to hold them as long as you want, and breastfeeding is amazing. It will be so fun to see if we get a boy or girl, and see what he/she looks like. I love seeing Clint holding his newborn baby, it's the sweetest thing EVER. Plus, I think it will be SO much fun to see Colby with a sibling. I think he'll be such a good big brother!

There's stuff I think I need to do before we get pregnant again, so that I can feel completely ready. I've probably mentioned this a million times before, but I need to keep saying it to remind myself! I want to get in shape, have a great time in Vegas (drinking and all), and get into a house. After all of those things fall into place, we'll really talk about the whole baby thing. Actually, I think we might start trying in August this year, assuming we have a house (or are at least close to it). The only thing we're hoping is that the next baby isn't born in September, we just have WAY too much going on that month!

Anyway, my baby fever has subsided a little bit writing this, so that's a good thing. Now I should probably turn off A Baby Story and that will help tremendously.

Day 56: Apartment living SUCKS.

2007-01-08T14:24:00.000-08:00

Monday, January 8th

Oh boy do I have a vent blog for you!!! Here's a little story about a nosy neighbor and a cat.

Pepe has always been an outdoor cat. As a kitten, we tried to keep him inside, but once he got the taste of sweet Washington air, he was not about to be restricted to the confines of an apartment. This worked well for us, no litter box, and a cat who came home to chill after being gone all day.

Well, once Colby came around, that all changed a bit. Pepe came home less and less and seemed to find other apartments to sleep at and get fed. I have watched him get nummy scraps from the neighbors, have let him in from the snow seeing no trace of water on him, and watched him grow fatter and fatter despite the fact that he eats very little of the food we offer him. It did make us sad, though, that he wasn't coming home to us at night anymore and we recently started talking about the possibility of finding him another home that didn't have a 1 year old who would torment him.

Fast forward to the end of December. I was gone for 2 weeks visiting family, and Clint came home for 4 days during that time. Pepe came in, ate, and wanted out immediately, as he always does, even though it was obvious that Colby wasn't around to pester him.

The day after New Years I get a knock on my door from our upstairs neighbor. Not entirely unusual, since she has come down before for various neighborly reasons. She informed me that she had let Pepe in during the time we were gone, fed him, and let him curl up by the heater. She told me that she had to cut his collar off of him because it was strangling him (she thought because it had tightened from being caught in a bush, I think because he's getting fat) and was offering to pay me back for it. I didn't take the money because I appreciated that she had taken care of our cat. The conversation should've ended there, but she proceeded to lecture me on why cats shouldn't be outside and that he was shivering, starving, etc. I said I felt bad, but that he is always outside and we couldn't find him to bring him down with us when we left, so oh well, he's a cat and he'll be fine.

The next day Pepe shows up, eats a couple of bites of food and wants out again. I ran into the neighbor who asked me if Pepe had come home and when I told her that, as usual, he had, she breathed a sigh of relief, as if she had been terrified that he wouldn't come home. I told her that he has been coming home very little since Colby was born and that honestly we weren't going to take tons of effort to go find him and everything since Colby is our #1 priority. I think I put it, "It's either Colby or Pepe, and obviously we chose Colby," not meaning that we didn't care about our cat or that we were going to neglect him, but that we're not going to worry much about it. He'll come home when and if he wants to. She told me not to take him to the animal shelter because they'd kill him and I said that if we were going to get rid of him, it'd be to a home.

You'd think that'd be the end of it, right?

Not so much.

She comes up to me the next day as I'm unloading the car and tells me that she talked to a friend of hers who would like to adopt an adult cat. At first, I thought that'd be a good idea, until she mentioned that Pepe would become an indoor cat. That didn't sit well with me, and I told her I'd have to talk to Clint about it, knowing full well that neither of us were going to give him up to this lady's friend. I felt like I was being backed into a corner because she kept insisting that Pepe was not being treated well.

The following day she comes over and gives me a phone number to her friend, saying that she wants my cat. She tells me that I need to keep him locked in a room for the weekend and she'd come over and meet him to make sure he's the kind of cat she wants. I explained to her that as a matter of fact, my brother wanted to take Pepe and that he lives on lots of land where Pepe'd be able to run around and come home to a baby-free place. She got defensive and said, "Well what's the point in that? He's a cat, he can't be outdoors. It's too cold." I said, "Exactly, he's a cat. He has fur. He likes being outside and we aren't comfortable giving him to a home that is going to keep him inside." She said, "Well, there are ways to make him into an indoor cat, and domesticated animals cannot be outside. They cannot survive." I told her that he wasn't a domesticated cat, that he had always gone outside. The argument went back and forth like this for a while, and when it was obvious I wasn't backing down, she left.

I was, and still am, pissed off. I thought she was being nice at first, but then I realized that she was acting very passive agressively, and was pretty much bullying me into thinking that she was right and we were wrong. Where does she get off telling me what to do with my cat? I don't care that she comes from California where more people probably keep their cats indoors. I don't care that she keeps her cats inside all day long. Pepe would get into her friend's house, go crazy, and shit everywhere. He'd be miserable. Plus, they'd probably lock him in a cage for a day or two, and slowly let him out into a room or two, and then the whole house so that he "forgets" the outdoors. I think that's cruel, I'm sorry. It is absolutely none of her f*ing business where my cat lives and how he is raised. I'm absolutely livid. What's next? Is she going to call CPS on me because every time she's been over my house has been a mess? Wouldn't that be dandy? Ugh.

I think what makes this situation even more unbearable is that I'm already sick and f*ing tired of living in an apartment. I know you can have nosey neighbors anywhere, but at least when you're in a house, they aren't living upstairs. And if they are, you're probably related to them and can just tell them to mind their own business or ground them.

So Pepe has found a new home with Corey. Sara renamed him Sir Pepe Charles Meowsworthy III, which I think is awesome. He hasn't completely warmed up to them yet, but at least he's coming home and laying around instead of being gone all the time. And it has, after all, only been 3 days. I'm sure he'll be back to his snuggly self in no time. Corey's living where Pepe first lived and it seems like he remembers it because he's going to all the same spots he did when we were there. I think he'll be happier there, and it makes us happy knowing that he has a good place to come home to!

Anyway, thanks for letting me rant and rave. I can't wait to get out of here!!!!

Day 55: Holidays and Resolutions

2007-01-01T21:13:00.000-08:00

Monday, January 1st

I can't believe it's already a new year. The holidays went by way too fast! We had a great Christmas and fun New Years too. I hate the week after Christmas, though. There's all this build up to Christmas day and it comes and goes in an instant. It sucks how radio stations start playing Christmas music before Thanksgiving, but the day after Christmas they're back to their regular music program. Why can't they go a couple more days? I need to be weaned from the Christmas season, not dropped cold turkey. It gets me all depressed.

Saturday I went to a funeral for my aunt who died a few days before Christmas. I didn't know her very well, but it was sad none-the-less. The service was very nice and people had wonderful stories to tell about her. She was cremated, so there was no body or coffin and that made it a little easier and less depressing. At the reception my uncle had her urn on the bar next to him while he was eating and chatting with people. We were cracking jokes about her sitting on the bar and other things. It was such a good relief from crying. I have decided that I'd rather be cremated than buried. It's so expensive for burials and coffins and all that stuff and why should I take up perfectly good earth with my bones? Nah, I'd rather be cremated and made into a diamond or something cool like that.

So, this is the start of a new year. In some ways, starting a new year is a little scary to me. I mean, last year was SO wonderful, what if this one isn't? I know, I can't think like that and I should just take each day as the wonderful gift it is. I pray that this year is as amazing and uneventful as last year was.

People are always making resolutions this time of year. I've found that I make resolutions and they last for maybe a month or two and then they go out the window. This year, I'm going to just make plans and work towards them. Here's what I have so far:

1. Mini-Triathlon in August

2. STP in July

3. Vegas trip this summer

4. Buy a house

I will train for the first two and that will get me into shape and help me lose weight. Going on a trip will be fun because Clint and I haven't gone on a vacation without Colby and we really want to go back to Vegas. And the house, well that has been a while coming and we are SO ready to be out of this apartment crap. Did I tell you that Clint got a promotion at work?! Maybe, just maybe, we'll be able to move next spring! (Say big prayers for us.)

Other than that, I want to love life, watch my toddler grow up, keep spending time with Clint, and maybe try for a new baby at the end of the year! (Although it is a little depressing to think that I'll have my body back by then, only to get pregnant again. Oh well, what do ya do?) I am so excited for life, so excited to see what this year brings. Yeah, there may be some hard times, but I know that with the support of my family and friends, everything will be A-O.K.

I wish everyone a happy, healthy, wonderful 2007. Here's to a great year!

Day 54: What's with this weather?!

2006-12-21T09:00:00.000-08:00

Thursday, December 21st

I can't believe the weather we're having this year. First a huge flood in November, followed by the crazy snow, and now massive windstorms? Maybe this is just like The Day After Tomorrow.

Last week was pretty nuts. We went down for the Seahawks game on Thursday, the night that they predicted the storm to hit. We hit the bar before the game at about 2 and when we left at about 5, there was a torrential downpour. Within just a couple of seconds of standing outside, all of us were soaked to the bone. Clint, Jesse, and I ran through an alley to get to the stadium, and the gutters were just pouring off water. It didn't matter too much though because we were pretty much as wet as we could get. We sat through the entire (horrible) 3 hour game miserably cold. It could've been worse, though. If I hadn't had so much to drink beforehand I would've cared a whole lot more.

After we got back from the game was when the big storm hit. I couldn't believe how hard the wind was blowing, it was NUTS. Clint's parents lost power Thursday night and didn't get it back until Friday afternoon. My parents lost it Thursday and didn't get it back until early Sunday morning. Fortunately, they have a generator, so we got to watch TV and have heat.

I guess there are still lots of people without power and I feel so bad for them. It amazes me, though, that people are bringing charcoal barbeques and generators into their houses to heat them up. It's so sad how many people have died of carbon monoxide poisoning because of it!

Early this morning we had a fantastic thunder and lightening storm complete with hail. I brought Colby to bed with us and when the lightening hit the first couple of times he said, "Wooooah." It was pretty cute.

But it looks like we have a break in the weather today. I think they said there should be more windstorms in the near future, though. Oh boy!

Okey dokey, I'm going to hop in the shower now, while the little man is sleeping. I hope everyone has a fantastic Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Day 53: Another Day.

2006-12-06T14:33:00.000-08:00

Wednesday, December 6th

Ahh, life. It's amazing, frustrating, and wonderful all at the same time. Kinda like being a parent. It's just one big roller-coaster of ups and downs and all you can do is keep your hands inside the ride and hold on.

I've been in kind of a melancholy mood lately and can't really put my finger on it, but I'm going to try.

I'm kinda sad that I haven't gotten into the Christmas spirit yet this year. I'm a major Christmas person and usually blast Christmas music the second Thanksgiving is over (and lots of times before it's over), but this year I haven't. We haven't decorated yet and I think that has a lot to do with it. Hopefully after we get our tree up and decorated on Saturday I'll be more cheery.

I also miss my friends. Don't get me wrong, I love chatting with my online buddies, but nothing quite substitutes a good face-to-face chat with a girlfriend. I need that so badly. I feel a little pathetic.

The other thing that I think has gotten me down is probably kind of a shock to most people, because it was a shock to me. I am sad that this next Thursday game is my last Seahawks game of the season. As of right now I don't know if I'll be able to get tickets next season, or if that's even an option for me. I have enjoyed going to the games SO much, have learned a ton about football, and really like hanging out on a Sunday morning drinking and walking around the tailgate area. It's so much fun hanging out with Clint and his friends, although I hope I haven't crashed their "guy time." It just makes me sad to know that my fun Seahawks season is almost over. :o(

Yep, I think that sums up pretty well why I'm such a party pooper. At least now I know.

This weekend was totally awesome, though! I took Clint on a surprise trip for his birthday and we had a lot of fun. We stayed the night in a motel on Friday night and early Saturday boarded the Victoria Clipper. We spent the weekend walking around Victoria, talking, hanging out in the hotel, basically just relaxing. It was weird to have no baby responsibilities. There were a couple of times that I was like, "Hmmm, no baby to entertain us, what should we do?" That dilemma was solved quickly though, don't worry. On Saturday night we were once again walking around, looking for that nummy toffee that I can only find in Canada, when all of these cops came by with their sirens going. We thought there was an accident or something, but soon after a whole parade of semis, dump trucks, and other big rigs came up the road. They were each decked out in Christmas lights and those big blow-up snow globes and some were pumping Christmas music from huge speakers. It was such a riot!

It was so nice to get away for the weekend with my man. I think we really need to make time for eachother because it's so easy to get caught up in the daily grind of life and being parents that we forget the reason we're together in the first place. I don't want our kids to grow up and move out and Clint and I look at eachother like, "Who are you again?"

Alrighty, I'm behind on my Christmas present knitting, so I'd better go. Hope everyone is doing well!!

Day 52: Adventures in Snowland.

2006-11-29T12:19:00.000-08:00

Wednesday, November 29th

I have had just about enough of this adventure. After a wonderful, relaxing holiday weekend we were supposed to come home on Tuesday with no problems right?

Wrong.

It all started Monday after the Seahawks game. We left the parking garage at 9:30 and immediately hit traffic on I-5. The freeway was one huge ice rink, cars stopped on the side of the road, and some abandoned in the road. It took us about an hour to go from the south end of Northgate Mall to the north end. Yeah, that's less than a mile. We were stuck behind a bus and next to a semi, and were inundated with the smell of exhaust the whole time. Around the north end of Northgate the semis started spinning their tires. We were in Jesse's Durango (thank God), and he was able to squeak through 4 semis just sitting in the road.

After navigating that mess, we had "clear" roads ahead, but we still had to drive at a snail's pace because of the ice. Pretty soon after the Northgate mess we came up on a jack-knifed articulated bus and broken down semi which Jesse had to squeeze between. The freeway was a mess! We saw a bus backward up an incline, and more broken down cars and semis than I could count. Apparently the other freeways and highways were even worse though, because the news stations didn't really mention I-5.

We came up on more brakelights in Edmonds and decided to get off the road and look for a hotel. Fortunately Hwy 99 was pretty much free and clear and we decided to just push on through. We got in the door at 1:15 am, almost 4 hours after leaving Seattle. From what I hear, we were lucky, though. It took some people 6 or more hours for similar distances.

Tuesday we decided to make the trip back home. It was sunny and nice, and although it was chilly we figured it'd be okay to come back. Our trip up was uneventful for the most part until we got into our town. I slipped a little on the off-ramp and another few times before we got home, but it didn't matter because we were about to be home in our warm apartment and our own beds.

Wrong again.

I walked in the door and realized that our power was out. Crap. I guess it had been out for a while because our fridge stunk and our milk was warm! We called Clint's sister and decided to crash with her for the night. This morning we finally braved our commute back home and I slipped on the ice a little more. Fortunately this time the power was on and we had a chance to buy groceries.

Now we're just enjoying our heater and waiting for the next snowstorm that will be arriving tonight!

I've had as much adventure as I can take for the rest of the year.

Oh, and PS- The game was freakin' awesome, but extremely cold. Like Clint said, this all would've been a lot worse if the Seahawks had lost!

Day 51: Wow, this isn't a dream.

2006-11-03T10:33:00.000-08:00

Friday, November 3rd

Colby snuggled me today, which is a rare thing since he's such a busy kid. He laid his head on my chest and just sat there listening to my heartbeat. It's times like these that make my heart feel so full I'm pretty sure it's going to explode, and that would be okay. Day after day I wonder if this life I am leading is a dream. Did I really marry the most wonderful guy on Earth 3 years ago? Did I give birth to my beautiful son 13 months ago? Do I actually get to watch him grow up forever and ever? Do I really live this completely blessed life? Am I that lucky?

I can't believe that Colby is here forever. He's mine! I get to experience all of the wonderful-ness and not-so-wonderful-ness of being a parent to this amazing child. Every day I look at him and have to pinch myself because I can't believe he's real. I can't believe my life is real. It's too awesome to be real. Wow.

I love the little things Colby does to make me happy. I will never forget when Colby was 4 days old. We were having difficulty breastfeeding and he was screaming because he was so hungry. As I held this screaming baby I lost control and just broke down into tears. He suddenly stopped crying and watched me with the sweetest look on his face as if to say, "Mama, what's wrong?" It was in that moment that I felt like I was the most important person in his life and he needed me.

There have been other times that I have been having a bad day and he'll give me a kiss, or want to snuggle me, and it makes me feel so special. I don't care if he doesn't want to say "Mama" as long as I get those little moments where he shows me he loves me.

I can't wait to have another baby, for this love to grow exponentially. I know that Colby is going to be the best big brother and I'm excited to see him take care of his little brothers/sisters.

I love that I have so much to look forward to in life. We're going to buy a house, have more babies, get a dog, travel... I pray to God that my life isn't over until I have done everything in this life that I want to do. I pray that I get to grow old with Clint and that we can watch our children grow up and have their own children, and maybe we could even live long enough to hold our children's children. I want to be that cute old couple that walks hand-in-hand down the street. God willing, we will.

I hope everyone has a safe, fun weekend. Thanks for listening to my sappiness.

Day 50: Long time gone.

2006-11-02T10:51:00.000-08:00

Thursday, November 2nd

Man, I haven't written in a while! I have been pretty busy and wasn't even home all last week, so that's why. I guess I'll start at the beginning!

A week ago Sunday I went to the Seahawks game and watched them lose and watched Hasselbeck get injured. Bummer. After the game I met my mom and Colby down the street from Qwest Field and we drove down to Portland where my mom had to go for some conference for work. We stayed at the Embassy Suites and had a really relaxing fun time. Colby loved running around the hotel and thought the glass elevators were awesome. I got a hold of one of the moms I met on BabyCenter and we met up at the mall. It is always SO cool to meet people that I have talked to for so long online. I love it.

Tuesday we drove home and stopped in SeaTac where Clint was staying for a training thing for work. We were trying to surprise him and the front desk even gave me a key to his room, but after waiting around for about an hour he didn't show up and we left. Turns out, he went out to dinner with the guys. Oh well.

Thursday I left Colby with my parents and stayed at the hotel with Clint. We went out for dinner with some of his coworkers and then had some drinks alone in the hotel bar. We were pretty pathetic, though because we were both so tired we had crashed by about 9:30pm. What do ya do?

Colby dressed up as a dragon for Halloween and we trick-or-treated first at Clint's work, and later at the mall. We got so many complements on his costume, which my mom found for $10 at Value Village! Colby had so much fun carrying his little bucket around and getting candy. He got his first taste of chocolate that day and LOVED it.

Wednesday morning Colby had his surgery to unplug his tear ducts. So far, it seems to have gone well. He's back to normal after being knocked out, but he still has some eye gunk in his left eye. The doctor said to watch it and it will probably go away, but if it doesn't she'll give us an eye ointment for nighttimes. If that doesn't work, she may have to go back in and put a stint in the tear duct, but we're hoping that doesn't have to happen. I'm so relieved that the surgery is over and done with. I can't wait for people to stop asking me if my son has been crying all day or if he has an eye infection. My poor kid is so sick of us picking at his eyes, so I'm sure he'll be glad to have them fixed too.

Today we're just hanging out. The weather is pretty icky so I think we'll stay inside. I have plenty of cleaning I could be doing anyway.

So, we got a little excited about a house on some land this past weekend. My dad told us about this manufactured home on 4.23 acres just up the street from them for only $155K! We were hoping to have a chance at getting it, since that's well within our price range, but there are a bunch of red flags with it and we aren't going to pursue it. Clint's friend Chris is a real estate agent and hooked us up with a ton of listings of houses around our price range, and there are a couple that look interesting. They're fixer-uppers, but we know that's pretty much what we're going to have to settle for since we're only living off of Clint's income. I think we're going to wait until Spring to really look at homes, though. Even if Clint does get a transfer, he won't be able to do that until after tax season, so there's no point in us trying to move before then. And, if he can't transfer it'd be a bad situation for him to have to commute all that way every day. Definitely not fun for him.

I'm so excited thinking about getting a house. I can't wait to have some semblance of a yard where I can go out on the back porch and watch Colby play in the dirt and grass. I can't wait to be able to paint and decorate and have pictures and things on my walls. I can't wait to be able to turn the TV up to a normal volume without worrying that my neighbors are going to be bothered. I can't wait to not be able to hear my neighbors getting it on. (Did I mention they're probably in their 70s?)

Ugh, I absolutely cannot wait.

I have decided to challenge myself. I want to read 10 books before December 31st, and I have already finished 5 books!

1. Milkrun by Sarah Mlynowski (Funny!)
2. The DaVinci Code by Dan Brown (Page-turner.)
3. Welcome to My Planet by Shannon Olson (Not my favorite, but okay.)
4. Children of God Go Bowling by Shannon Olson (Much better than the first.)
5. The Virgin Suicides by Jeffery Eugenides (Creepy, interesting, intriguing. I'm still not sure if I loved it, but I definitely didn't hate it.)

And I'm working on 2!

1. Angels and Demons by Dan Brown
2. Running With Scissors by Augusten Burroughs

Man, I love reading.

Anyway, I'd better get to that cleaning. Oh, and I have fallen off the horse as far as exercising goes, so I'm really going to try and get back into that. Wish me luck!

Day 49: Awesome weekend.

2006-10-16T11:05:00.000-07:00

Monday, October 16th

I could not have asked for a better weekend! I love when we go south for the weekend because we get to see our friends and family, but it is SO nice to just stay home every once and a while. On Saturday morning we woke up and Clint went to donate plasma for the first time. Despite my telling him it isn't that big of a deal, he wasn't looking forward to it. Turns out, everything that could go wrong, did go wrong with him and he was gone for 4 hours, when it only should've taken 2. Poor guy. I don't think he'll be wanting to donate again. Oh well, at least he gave it a shot.

After lunch, we all headed to the pumpkin patch. It was great! I don't remember the last time I went to a pumpkin patch, and it was so much fun to see the little kids enjoying themselves, smell the apple cider brewing, and feeling the fall air. Colby had a blast, which made it even more enjoyable. We ran into a guy from Clint's work and his family, as well as our doctor and his family. It kinda made me feel like we actually know people up here!

After the pumpkin patch, we went home and I made my extremely tasty chicken noodle soup. (The secret ingredient is ginger. Shhh!) Actually it isn't my recipe, since I found it online, but I'm taking credit for it anyway, so there. We capped off our wonderful day with hot soup and grilled cheese sandwiches. The perfect fall meal.

Clint and I finished The DaVinci Code on Saturday night, and we were pleased. It was really good, and it didn't leave us hanging at all! I went out and bought Angels and Demons on Sunday, and we read a little bit of that last night.

Yesterday was one of those good 'ol lazy Sundays. I made eggs, sausage, and hash browns for breakfast, and we spent most of the day doing laundry and dishes, and watching football (of course). The Seahawks game was the highlight of the day, although things started looking bleak in the 1st half. But, the Seahawks owe their turnaround to the fact that at halftime Clint put on his lucky brown sweatshirt. After that, they started doing awesome! I think they should make his sweatshirt an honerary lucky charm. :o)

Today is pretty laid back. I have a couple of errands to run, and I'm going to try to donate some plasma too. I don't remember if I wrote about this before, but I'm not going to be taking Colby to the daycare anymore, which means I have to wait until Clint gets home from work before I can go. I thought the lady watching Colby in the daycare was nice, but I don't think she can pay close enough attention because there can be up to 6 kids in the room at a time and she keeps the door open. So, to ease my worry, I just won't take Colby in with me.

Excuse me for a second while I get mushy.

My life is so wonderful right now. I know that there will be times in the future where things are rough or sad and I hope that during those times I can remember how happy I am right now. I hope I can always come back around to being this happy. I have a wonderful husband who is compassionate, loving, and unselfish. I have a beautiful son who is so happy, curious, and funny I often find myself just staring at him in awe that Clint and I created him (with a little help from The Man Upstairs, of course). How much better could it get?

I think the only part of my life that I'm not happy with right now is the whole friends situation. I have so many people down south that are my friends, who I love hanging out with and talking to. But because I'm not living near them, I can't be as good of friends as I'd like to be. I can't just call any of them up and say, "Hey, I'm bored, wanna take the kids and go for a walk?" or "Hey, I have some money burning a whole in my pocket, wanna go to the mall?" I have to schedule in advance what I want to do with them, because I'm only in town for a couple of days. Boo. At least I have friends that I can make plans with though, right?! That is definitely a good thing.

I think I would go crazy, and would drive Clint crazy if he was the only person I ever hung out with. A girl needs some other girls in her life. Sure, Clint will talk to me about girly things, but he doesn't quite grasp the concept of what I mean when I say, "Man, I have some killer cramps right now, and I think I gained 10 lbs overnight." Not that I expect him to, he's a guy after all.

Anyway, all that aside, I am very happy. It's fall, the leaves are changing, and the weather is getting cooler. I get to break out my cute warm clothes that I didn't get to wear last year because I was too fat after having Colby. I am going to get back on track exercising because I have really slacked off. I refuse to buy pants a size bigger than what I'm wearing now!

Hope everyone has a wonderful week.

Day 48: Feeling Fat.

2006-10-13T11:12:00.000-07:00

Friday, October 13th
(Muahahahaha)

Okay, before I get on with my blabbering, I have to ask myself a question. Why the heck am I still numbering my entries? I started numbering because it was Day 1 of my workout and eating healthy. Now, it's just Day 48 of random crap. I toyed with using Entry 48, Log 48, Journal 48, but nothing quite has the ring that "Day" does, so I'm going to stick with it.

So back to the topic at hand. I feel like a COW today! Of course, that could have something to do with the fact that my parents took us out to dinner where I ate mozzarella sticks, jalapeno poppers, steak, chips, and a nummy chocolate cake with ice cream. Yeah, that'll do it. I'm going to try my darndest to get on the eliptical machine tonight. Maybe I'll do that before Colby goes to bed and give Clint and Colby some play time together.

This morning was so cool. Colby woke up at 6 crying, and I was in no shape to be awake yet, so I brought him to bed with us. It took him a little while to settle in, but he was soon fast asleep between Clint and I. Turns out my child is a bed hog, but it was so sweet to have my little family all sleeping together.

Anyway, I'm sure I was going to write about more but I got side-tracked and don't remember what I was going to say. Oh well, I'm sure I'll remember eventually. I just slammed my finger in a door, so I'm going to stop typing as the throbbing is starting to really hurt. (I'm a total clutz, in case you don't already know that.)

Have a good weekend!

Day 47: Playing catch-up.

2006-10-11T14:57:00.000-07:00

Wednesday, October 11th

Woops, guess I have kinda slacked on writing, huh? My bad. I have been busy, I guess! It's amazing how little time I have for myself now that Colby is running around everywhere, and slowly but surely cutting back to one short nap a day. Noooooooo!

Another reason I haven't made time for journaling is because I have gotten back into reading for pleasure. It's amazing how college will suck the joy of reading out of you. It has taken me 2 years, but I'm back! My goal is to read 10 books before the end of the year. So far I have finished Milkrun by Sarah Mlynowski (very funny) and Clint and I are currently in the middle of The DaVinci Code by Dan Brown. We're going to read Angels and Demons next, but I need suggestions as to what book I should read on my own. Anyone have any good ideas?

Today has been pretty fun! After Colby's nap, we had some lunch and headed off the the University. Because I'm cheap and don't want to pay by the hour for parking, we took the shuttle. This was his first bus ride, and he thought it was so much fun. He stood on the seat (I kept a hand on him, don't worry) and looked out the window. He waved at passing cars and would occasionally say "Oooooh!" At the school we met up with Aunt Katie between her classes. Then, he got to run around everywhere. We got so many looks! (Good ones.) I suppose college kids don't share the courtyard with a one year old very frequently! Running around everywhere totally wore him out, so he's down for another nap right now. (Yesssss!)

So, here's another one of my crazy ideas. Maybe I could write a book. I don't have any background in how to do this, but it can't be that hard. Or maybe it is. Whatever. Anyway, I have journals from kindergarten with stories of things that have happened to me. Kindergarten! That's like 19 years of stories. Maybe I could write a coming of age story. Hmmm... It's a thought. The question is, who would want to read it? I mean, me of course, but that won't make much of a profit. My mom probably would too, because she's my mom and she's supposed to. And Grandma. Sweet! I already sold 3 copies of my yet-to-be-written book! Go me.

The last time I wrote, I mentioned that I was going to donate plasma. Turns out, it is the coolest thing ever. I go in, bring Colby to the daycare where he gets lots of attention and gets to play with TONS of toys. Then, they do some routine check of my blood and what-not, and send me back for an hour to get the plasma drawn. During this time, I get to sit and read. They pay me to sit and read, while my child is being watched by the nicest lady in the daycare. For free! Then, they hand over the cash. I make $15 the first time in a week, and $30 the second time. AND starting on October 16th, they're going to give $20 for the first donation instead of $15. That's $50 a week which adds up to $200 a month! I love getting paid to do nothing. I mean, I love getting paid to help people. Really, that is a cool thing about it.

Okay, the little monster has awoken. Gotta break out the graham crackers for our afternoon snack. Hope everyone is doing well!

Day 46: Sleep is good.

2006-09-27T14:36:00.000-07:00

Wednesday, September 27th

Today has been such a wonderful day! Colby has been sleeping like a champ which means that for the first time in over a year, I have gotten a full nights' sleep on a regular basis. This morning I even woke up before him and got a shower in, just like normal people do!

We both got a nap this morning and after lunch we went to the park. Colby had a blast playing around on the equipment and surprised me by going down the little slide all on his own! He would climb up to it, sit down, push off, and get off the slide like a big kid. I was so amazed and really freaked out at first. We met some kids there and I got a chance to talk to another mom. She told me of some good places to take Colby, so that was nice!

This mom and I got on the topic of our city. She was telling me how much she loves it here and how beautiful it is, and I absolutely 100% agree with her. When I told her that our families live only about an hour away, she said, "Oh, that's not so bad!" Which really got me thinking. No, it really isn't so bad. I mean, so many people live thousands of miles from their families and here I am complaining about living an hour away?! It almost seems silly.

Really, I think that the reason why I want to move so bad is because right now we are in this state of limbo. We're in an apartment which is obviously a temporary living place. I hate temporary. Maybe if we had a house up here I wouldn't be itching to move so bad. But then again maybe I would! My problem right now is that I think we will be moving in the next year or less and I don't want to make really good friends with anyone up here because I know we're only here temporarily. This makes me more lonely in the short run, but saves me from losing friends in the long run, ya know what I mean? Plus, if I do become really good friends with someone up here and we do move, then I'll want to continue to see that friend and end up driving up here all over again. It totally defeats the purpose!

Okay, so I'm over-thinking things. Oh well. It's not like I'm sheltering myself from meeting people. We will be attending MOPS this year and there are lots of moms there to make friends with, and I love talking to other moms at the playground. I guess whatever happens, happens, right?

I just scheduled an appointment to donate plasma! I'm excited and a little bit nervous. I know it's a lot more involved and painful than donating blood, but I know that it helps people out. Alright, so that isn't the first reason why I'm doing it. I get paid $15 for the first donation of the week and $30 for the second. So it's a win-win situation! I help other people out, and I help us out too!

Alrighty, Colby's up from his nap and I should start thinking about dinner. I can't believe this week is half over!

Day 45: What a weekend!

2006-09-25T19:41:00.000-07:00

Monday, September 25th

I am a little sad that the weekend is over! It was SUCH a blast. First off, Colby's party went off without a hitch. I was really worried that something would go wrong or that he wouldn't like his cake, silly stuff like that. Turns out I had absolutely nothing to worry about and it all went well! Everyone arrived around 1 and left by 4. My cousin Leslie and her family couldn't make it until 4, so we fired up the BBQ again and kept the party going! It was nice because I wasn't ready to stop partying. Plus, I hadn't really had a chance to eat the whole day because I was running around doing other stuff, so I got to have a burger!

Sunday was completely freakin' awesome. My dad had some work he had to do, so I got to take his ticket to the Seahawks/Giants game. It was off the hook! Because of all of the press about artificial noise being pumped through the speakers at Qwest field the crowd retaliated with some serious cheering and jeering. Clint is really hoarse today, and I have a sore throat. It was totally worth it, though!

Before the game Mike, Clint, Jesse and I hit the tailgate area early. I mean, we were drinking by 10am. I have NEVER drank that early! I ran into a couple of the bartenders from my former restaurant which was nice. They hooked us up with our first beers of the morning!

Anyway, the game was a total riot. I wish I could go to more, but I'm happy with getting tickets when people want to give them up. Mike's giving me his ticket to one of the Monday night games too! I'm so excited!

So, now my little man is one. I am so excited to watch him grow up! I am excited to have my body back for at least another year or two. To tell you the truth, I can kinda see why people only have one baby. I mean, you give your body up for 9 or 10 months. Then you go through the hell of labor and delivery along with recovering from it. Followed by another year or so of very little sleep, breastfeeding, and depression over the fact that your body will never be the same again. Don't get me wrong, it is completely 100% worth it, but it does suck at times. I am excited to do it all over again, just not yet.

I got another wind of really wanting to live down south this weekend. It was so nice seeing all of our friends and family. It makes me sad! When I'm up here, I feel like I don't have any friends, but down there I have SO many fun people to hang out with and many of them have babies around Colby's age. I told Clint we should just move before he gets a transfer and he can commute to and from work every day. I mean, he'd be going against traffic, so that'd be a plus! But still, it'd be over an hour of driving and that's not fair to him, especially during tax season.

Every time I wish we lived down south again, I remind myself that it will suck at first. We're planning on moving into my parent's studio apartment for a couple of months, and that is going to be very interesting with a 1 year old. I have no idea where we're going to put his crib, and when he goes to sleep, we're going to have to sleep too! Unless we stick him in the bathroom and shut the door... I'm only kidding. Kinda.

Anyway, I'm going to get going. I'm still pretty tired from the weekend, and new shows are premiering tonight! Sweeeet. Fall is so awesome.

Hope everyone has a great week! Go HAWKS!

Day 44: Emotional Wreck

2006-09-21T20:03:00.000-07:00

Thursday, September 21st

Alright, so maybe the term "emotional wreck" is slightly over-dramatic, but I am emotional none-the-less. I can't believe my baby is going to be 1 in a little more than 24 hours! *Sniff!* It makes me sad that a year ago I had a little bundle that I cuddled and snuggled and that little bundle is now a big boy. Don't get me wrong, I am absolutely stoked to watch him grow up. Being a mom is by far the most exciting, wonderful, amazing experience, but it is also completely exhuasting and sometimes sad. I love every day that I wake up and get to watch Colby discover the world.

I went to order his cake today and as I pulled out of the parking lot I shed a tear. Later I tortured myself by watching A Baby Story and seeing a baby born. That was me just a year ago! Time flies so fast. Then, just now, I pulled his smash cake out of the oven and it got me all choked up. That's my little boy's first cake! (Okay, second since he had a bite of cake at Sage's birthday party.) My little boy who is growing up before my eyes. The little boy who now asks "What's that?" constantly (although it sounds more like "Uh dat?"). The little boy who is more interested in tupperware and playing in the dirt than snuggling with his mom. The little boy who no longer breastfeeds and wouldn't have time for it anyway. (Things to do, people to see, you know.) The little boy who is now a bona-fide toddler and will soon take the title of big boy.

*Sigh.*

I think that right now I am mourning the baby I once held because he isn't quite a year old yet. I think that once Saturday is over and done I will be over this emotional hump and looking forward to the toddler years. (Ha!)

So, in tribute to Colby's first birthday, I thought I'd post my birth story. There is a much, much longer version of this, but I figured it would be pretty boring for most audiences, so this is the summary.

Colby was due on 9/13, our 2nd anniversary. That day came and went with no sign of Colby, but a raging case of PUPPPs for me! On 9/20 I went to the doc and he scheduled me to be induced that night, as I was HUGE and extremely uncomfortable from the itching. They admitted me at about 7pm and started me on Cervidyl. I had a few contractions, but nothing progressed. The next morning they gave me Cytotec because the Cervidyl didn't work. At about 5pm I still wasn't in labor, and they sent me home. I kept a strong face, but I was absolutely crushed. Our nurse gave me a big hug and assured me that she thought I'd be in labor before my next scheduled induciton on 9/26.

The next morning I was still experiencing contractons from the Cytotec, and they turned into real labor. I went back to the hospital at 3pm. Thank goodness the nurse who had discharged us the day before was still there, because at 2cm I probably shouldn't have been admitted. I think she felt bad for me! I also got an epidural within 15 mins of arriving. WOHOO! I labored through the night and early in the morning the epidural started wearing off on my right side and I started throwing up.

At 6am I started pushing. Colby wasn't coming down like he should and I could feel his head pushing against the right side of my pubic bone. Ouch. The longer I pushed, the more I puked. They finally upped my epidural and gave me something to control the nausea. I remember asking Clint if I was going to die, he assured me I wasn't. I pushed for 3 hours and then was sent for a C-Section because of Colby's failure to decend.

At 10:42am on Friday, September 23rd Colby Tanner was born weighing in at a whopping 9lbs 5oz with a big 'ol head. No wonder he wouldn't come out!

Happy birthday my sweet little boy with the bluest eyes I've ever seen. I love you more than life itself and I am so excited to watch you grow and see the person you become. You are amazing.

Day 43: A new day.

2006-09-12T10:38:00.000-07:00

Tusday, September 12th

All-in-all, yesterday was pretty good! Colby and I met Clint for lunch at Starbucks and then went to walk around the mall. At about 5pm my mom and brother showed up and we had pizza and Dairy Queen ice cream cake (my favorite) and just hung out. Clint brought home these really pretty orange flowers for me, along with a card that started with "To the woman I'd marry all over again." He melts my heart.

The only problem with yesterday was my mood. I watched TV in the morning about all of the 9/11 stuff and didn't turn it off until we met Clint for lunch. I knew I shouldn't, but I watched it and got sad. That stuck with me all day and I couldn't shake it. I was so down and depressed. That's how has been the last 5 years, though, so I guess I should just get used to it. I feel silly being so depressed on that day because I didn't know anyone involved in the attacks and I have never even been to NY, let alone the WTC. But, for some reason when I see those images it brings all of those horrible feelings back to me and I can't get rid of them. By yesterday evening, I found myself wishing the day was over already. How sad is that?

But, today is a new day. The weather is beautiful and I have so much to be thankful for. Today is going to be wonderful.

To Do:

1. Enjoy today

2. Laundry

3. Empty Dishwasher

Day 42: Proud to be an American.

2006-09-11T09:56:00.000-07:00

Monday, September 11th

Today is the 5th anniversary of the 9/11 attacks. I will never forget that day as long as I live. Here's an entry from my journal from the day after the tragedy. It was the first page in a brand new journal.

Dear journal,

Ya know, I really don't like to start things off on a sad note, but really, there's no way around it: my life, and the lives of every American has been changed.

I woke up earlier than normal yesterday for a couple of reasons. First, the sun was shining and I was getting really hot, and second, it was my 19th birthday. Needless to say, no onewill ever forget my 19th birthday, even if they didn't know I exist. I went downstairs and got on the internet to check on my bids on e-bay. My mom called to wish me happy birthday and asked if I had heard the news. Of course at this point, thoughts were racing through my head. "Who do I know that died??" Don't ask me why, maybe it was the tone of her voice, but I knew it invoved death-whatever happened. She told me to turn on the news, and it really didn't matter which channel, because all but 3 had the news. I watched in horror as a tape showed me over and over the planes crashing into New York's World Trade Center buildings and a portion of the Pentagon. I watched it over and over and never could I conceive the tradgedy that was unfolding. I was sad and angry, confused and felt hopeless. I wanted to help, but couldn't. I wanted to rescue people from that hell, but couldn't.

I had an extremely rough night last night. I listened to Delilah on 106.9 and her entire program was dedicated to mourning. She played the song Proud to Be An American and for the first time in this whole ordeal, I cried. I went to my parents house to have cake with my family and my mom wasn't doing too well. Her surgery didn't work and she's still in pain. She started crying and asked my dad to take her to her parent's house. I left then, it was all too much.

So, as is usually the case, I escaped to Clint's house. There, I cried because the effects of the day had began to sink in. Clint's mom handed me a birthday card; she had tears in her eyes. The card read, "Lindsay, you are such a special person and an important part of our family. We love you very much!" At that, the waterworks really started to flow and she gave me a hug and cried too.

With my dad and Corey at the land and my mom at my grandparent's house, and with all of the events of the day, I really didn't want to go home. Clint's parents let me stay the night and I was so grateful.

.. two days later I included this:

You can't get away from the news, the images and sounds on TV. You want to turn off the TV and forget about it, but there's this almost perverse attraction to the screen, the pictures of the ruble, people crying and showing pictures of relatives they have yet to find, not knowing if they're alive or not. Maybe you do snap out of the trance and change the channel, but it's only a matter of time before you find yourself back watching the news. It's not that you're entertained by the images, or enjoy seeing them at all, but there's this feeling of anticipation that something's going to happen. Maybe it'll be something good, like they find all 4,763 missing people alive and well, or even just one person. Then again, maybe something bad will happen, like more buildings collapse, or they call off the search for survivors. Either way, you end up watching.

-------------------------------------------------

So today is my 24th birthday. I always look forward to my birthday, but since that day, it has been bittersweet. I tell myself I'm not going to watch TV, but I always do. I tell myself I'm not going to cry, but I always do. Those images just make me so sad, and I know they always will.

We don't really have anything planned for the day. I'm going to get pizza for dinner: Garlic Chicken (my favorite). I think Clint's planning on taking me to dinner on Saturday night, so that will be nice. I'm super tired today because Colby didn't sleep well last night, so I'm just hoping for a nap and a shower. :o)

Hope everyone has a great week!

To do:

1. Enjoy birthday!

2. Nap.

3. Shower.

Day 41: September has arrived.

2006-09-05T10:39:00.000-07:00

Tuesday, September 5th

Wow. It's already September, can you believe it?! Kids are going back to school and it feels like summer just started. Actually, I take that back, it has felt like a very long summer, but in a good way!

I am excited for the seasons to change. With every new season comes a new beginning. New weather, new opportunities, new... clothes! Okay, so maybe that's why I want it to get just a little bit colder outside. My mom took me shopping last weekend and got me an incredibly cute outfit. (Another early birthday present!) It's awesome because the outfit I got from Jenny is casual and the outfit from my mom can be casual or slightly dressy. I'm all set for warmer weather!

This week is going to be fantastic. Friday I get to see Kristen, who was my absolute best friend growing up. She lives in California and I haven't seen her since graduation in 2001. We are two totally different people, but that's what's fun about getting together with her. Plus, her family was basically my second family growing up and I'll get to see them on Saturday at her brother's wedding reception. Fun times!

I was reading through my journal last night. This time last year I was extremely pregnant and praying to go into labor, but not on my birthday. I kept saying in my journal that I was bored and just hanging around home, sleeping and watching TV. I wrote that I knew I was going to miss those days of peace and quiet and boredom once Colby was born. What's funny is that I really don't miss it. I hate being bored! And anyway, I do get peace and quiet when Colby goes down for naps. I would be miserable if I was at home with nothing to do. Granted, I know that he'll start napping less and start being louder and even more active than now, so maybe in the near future I will want some peace and quiet, but right now I'm a-o-k! I love that my day is spent entertaining, and being entertained by, Colby. There's nothing better in this world than hearing that little boy laugh.

Colby breakthrough: he will sit and read books. Well, only two books right now. See, any time I usually try to sit with him and read, he gets fussy and wants to go play. But, our friend Sage gave him two Feel 'n Learn type books called That's not my bunny... and That's not my tractor... where on each page you see why that isn't the right thing because something is too soft, or scratchy, or rough... It's great!

Anyway, the little monster has just woken up from his nap, so I should feed him some lunch! Have a great week!

To Do:

1. Buy Stamps

2. Groceries

3. Walk

Day 40: Fall is in the air.

2006-08-30T09:58:00.000-07:00

Wednesday, August 30th

Oooh, I love this time of year! I love watching the leaves change, and feeling the cool breeze that cuts through the hot days. I love being able to wear jeans and jackets again. I love back-to-school, even when I'm not going back to school! Is that weird?

Tomorrow night my mom, dad, and I are going to a pre-season pro football game! I'm so excited. I have never been to a pro game before and I think it'll be fun. Clint's mom is going to watch Colby, so he'll get to hang out and have fun with his grandparents. Then Friday is Clint's dad's birthday, and Saturday is our friend Sage's first birthday party! We'll be home on Sunday and still have another day to hang out, since it's Labor Day weekend. I'm really looking forward to it.

Every night, when I go to bed, I am so excited for the next day. I have never experienced this before, unless I'm going on a trip or have something fun planned. I just love waking up, playing with Colby, putting him down for naps, cleaning, cooking, blogging, and drinking coffee. It makes me feel good to have a clean (or at least semi-clean) apartment, and a happy kid and husband. I know that much of the reason for my happiness is that I have found a good balance. I don't neglect myself. I make sure that if I'm tired I take a nap (when Colby's napping, of course). If I need a break because Colby has been exceptionally cranky that day, I hand him off to Clint and have some time to myself. I make time for everyone.

I am so happy in my life right now, and I couldn't imagine it any different. We are working towards owning a house sometime (hopefully) soon. We have healthy dinners and still have extra money to have fun. Our families are awesome, and our friends rock. I am one lucky woman. I am glad for the choices I have made in my life. They haven't always been the easy ones, but they have definitely been the right ones. I'm so fortunate, thankful, and absolutely grateful for what I have. It scares me to know that everything could be taken away from me in an instant, but there's no use in worrying about something I have no control over. I will just take each day as it comes, and enjoy every minute.

Shew. Sometimes I get kinda deep and Dr. Phil-ish don't I? Well I'm done. (For now anyway!)

Today's weather is looking kind of bleak. Just a preview of what's to come in the fall and winter, I guess. It's a darn good thing I love the rain. I couldn't live anywhere that's sunny all the time. Sometimes you just need a break from the sunshine, ya know? Plus, I am a strong believer that we are more appreciative of the sunny days because we don't get them all the time.

I was going to walk to Costco to pick up the invitations I ordered, but we'll see how the weather holds up. It's amazing to me, last fall we took our newborn Colby for walks in his stroller and there were lots of fall leaves on the path. This year we'll still go for walks on the same path and there will be more leaves, but Colby will be a toddler. It reminds me of one of those sappy movies that makes you cry when you see the montage of time passing. Ahhh, life. :o)

Okay, I think I'm going to do some Yoga while Colby's napping today. I feel so chunky lately, and I'm not 100% sure why. Maybe because Colby's not really breastfeeding anymore and I'm not burning those extra calories? Hmmmm...

Oh, wait! One more thing. Colby slept through the night last night! I am convinced that it is directly related to the fact that he's mostly on formula now. I think breastmilk is too easily digested and therefore makes him hungry faster. Ever since he started on formula, he's been sleeping longer and longer. I woke up at 5 this morning almost in a panic, "What's wrong? Is he alive? Should I go check on him?" I didn't check on him because I didn't want to wake him up, but I didn't really get back to sleep. Hopefully he continues this sleeping through the night trend. I could get used to it!

To Do:

1. Yoga

2. Walk

3. Pick up invites

4. Laundry

5. Dishes

6. Vaccuum

Day 39: Ahhh, I love nap time.

2006-08-29T10:20:00.000-07:00

Tuesday, August 29th

I think I'm going to be totally lost when Colby decides to go down to one nap a day. I love the break in the morning (when I drink my coffee, mess around on the internet, take a shower) and in the afternoon (when I clean and start dinner). I don't know what I'm going to do when I have to do all of those things in one naptime. I think I'll have to sacrifice the shower. I kid, I kid!

Clint and I are trying SO hard to save money. We just set up a budget for ourselves and figured that we're spending way too much money on groceries and going out. So far, we're staying within the budget, but there are still 2 more weeks left of this "month" (we're going from the 15th of one month to the 14th of the next). It's so exciting to save money, but it sucks when you're trying to get started. I know it will all pay off once we see our savings growing, though.

I'm really excited because we just settled on my car accident from 2004. We got enough money to pay off my car! We're going to continue taking the amount of that car payment out each month, but put it into a CD or other high-interest savings. That's going to add up really fast, and we won't miss the money because we aren't used to having it in the first place! We're going to use that money as our "home improvement fund." We know we're going to have to buy a fixer-upper when we do eventually buy a house, so we want to have some cash on hand for new paint, carpet, water heater, whatever we'll need to fix it up! Now if we could only buy a house...

Man, we are so lucky to have such generous parents. They are always babysitting Colby, taking us to dinner, buying us stuff, helping us pay for other things. My parents are going to supply BBQ stuff for Colby's birthday. Clint's parents just gave us their 32" (or is it 35"...) TV with the stand. Not only that, they helped us move it up here. I feel so spoiled! I wish we could pay them back. I can't wait until we're making more money and we can treat them to dinner every once and a while. I know, they're parents and they don't expect it of us. I know they want to help us out because that's what parents do. I just hope they know how much we appreciate it. We are so lucky.

I'm not quite sure what's on today's agenda. I know I need to go for a walk, but I feel like I need to switch it up. Maybe I'll drive to another trail or something. This neighborhood is nice, but it gets boring walking the same way every day. Blech.

Calories Burned This Week: 265

To Do:

1. Walk

2. Mop Floors

3. Dishes

4. Laundry

Day 38: I dedicate this to Aunt Donna.

2006-08-28T12:23:00.000-07:00

Monday, August 28th

See Aunt Donna, I told you I'd do it. You didn't believe me did you?

After attending a family get-together this weekend, I realized how many people actually read my rambling blogs and actually enjoy them, so I decided to get to writing them again! This is for all of my fans out there.

; )

Alrighty then, down to business. I was doing so bad at exercising and eating well, but I think I'm back on track. (Okay, with the exception of the crap I ate last weekend.) Clint and I have realized how much we spend on groceries and eating out, and decided to re-evaluate our spending. I have started planning meals for the week and shopping only on Sunday or Monday. That way, I don't find myself in the grocery store multiple times a week, spending money on stuff that we really don't need. Plus, I'm planning lots of healthy meals, so that's a double bonus! My cousin Leslie suggested the site allrecipes.com and I LOVE it. They have a kagillion recipes complete with nutrition facts and suggestions for side dishes to serve with the meal. It has been wonderful. I'm trying to fix us a couple of vegetarian meals every week too, because meat is so dog-gone expensive! So far so good!

Clint took one section of the CPA exam on Friday. We're crossing our fingers that he passed. He worked his butt of for this one, I'm positive that he aced it. He was so ready for that test. I'm so proud of my man! He's going to take this week off from studying, but has to get right back on it after the weekend. He has another test on October 7th!

Clint's mom took me shopping for a new outfit on Friday! My birthday isn't until 9/11, but there's nothing better than an early birthday present! I am so spoiled by my mother-in-law. I got two totally cute shirts and a pair of dark blue jeans that I don't have to have hemmed. Wait, I'm going to repeat that, because I don't think you were paying attention: I don't have to get them hemmed. Do you know what that means to a short person like me?! Oh, and to make it even better, they're hella cute. Now I just need to get myself a pair of sexy heels and my outfit will be complete.

Other than that, nothing else is new! Colby is a walking machine now, which is so cute and yet so scary. He's a clutz like his mama, so he gets a new bump, scratch, or bruise every day. Poor kid.

So much to do today. After Colby gets up from his nap and has some lunch, we're going to walk to Costco. I sent the invitation that my mom made in and got one copy made so I can make sure it turns out okay before I jump into ordering all of them. I still can't believe my baby is turning one...

To Do:

1. Walk

2. Pick up Invitation

3. Laundry

4. Dishes

5. Plan Meals for Week

6. Grocery Shopping

Day 37: What an awesome weekend!

2006-08-14T09:45:00.001-07:00

Monday, August 14th

I did so bad at blogging last week! It was a pretty busy week, though, so you can't blame me. I still did my exercises for the most part, so that's good! I have come to the realization that I get checked out a lot when I rollerblade. I don't know if it's because not many people rollerblade anymore and I look like a total nerd because I still am, or if it's because I'm just too damn good looking to keep your eyes off me. I think I'll go with option two. Last week I was on the last stretch of road towards our place and these guys passed me. They turned around and slowed down. I started getting pretty worried at this point. Then, the driver opened his door and asked me how to get to the freeway. I gave them really quick directions, but didn't stop rollerblading. I was so afraid that they were going to try to grab me. But, thankfully, the driver closed the door and they drove off, but not before telling me, "Oh by the way, you look really good." Maybe I am just too damn good looking... ; )

This weekend was a great one. Friday night I went on a "date" with my friend Kendra. We had Mexican, went to Coldstone, and watched Step Up. It was such a fun time! I love being able to get away and have some ever-important girl talk. It's great!

Saturday my aunt and uncle had their 30th anniversary party. That was so much fun. They had awesome food, a really sweet slideshow, and we all got to learn how to Cha-Cha. Clint and I had tons of fun, and I think we got the dance down pretty well. I want to take more dance lessons with Clint since we have so much fun doing it. We loved taking Swing Dancing lessons, and we would have fun learning more.

Today is going to be a lot of errand running. I ended up selling 2 items on ebay, which is great, but I netted a total of $2 in profit. Don't worry, I won't spend it all in one place. So today I have to go to the post office to send the packages, among other not-fun errands. Wohoo!

This is probably going to be another bad week for blogging. I'm going down tomorrow to hang out and staying until Wednesday, when I'm meeting up with a few other mommies.

Have a great week!

To do:

1. Errands!

2. Fold laundry

3. Walk

4. Jog/Rollerblade

Day 36: Another new week!

2006-08-07T11:47:00.000-07:00

Monday, August 7th

What a great weekend. We didn't do anything special, but just hanging out and not having to go anywhere was awesome. My mom came up as planned and she treated us to lunch at the Olive Garden. Then, after Colby went down for the night, she and I went to Applebee's and had drinks and dessert. It was fun to just hang out and laugh and not have to worry about where Colby is or what he's putting in his mouth.

Sunday we went to church. It's funny: when I was younger, I thought sitting through a church service was so boring. Now that I'm older and especially now that I have a child, it's actually a great break for me and somewhat relaxing. It's awesome too because Colby absolutely loves the nursery. Three different people complemented us on how well-behaved Colby is. They said he sat in the corner and just watched kids, laughed, and clapped his hands most of the time. So cute.

So this is another new week! I burned lots of calories last week and I hope to do just as well, if not better, this week. In addition, I think I'm going to join the message boards on Sparkpeople. It just helps to talk to people who are trying to loose weight. It's nice to hear their tips and tricks and just be able to comiserate with how tough it is to loose those last 15 pounds. My goal is to be 135 or less by September 25th, which is Colby's one year appointment. That's a little less than 2 months away, so I think I can do it.

Alrighty, hope everyone has a great week!

Total Calories Burned Last Week: 835!

To Do:

1. Walk

2. Jog/Rollerblade

3. Laundry

4. Dishes

5. Clean Bathroom

Day 35: Today I brag about Colby.

2006-08-04T11:02:00.000-07:00

Friday, August 4th

Yesterday was great! Colby and I went for a walk to the coffee stand and back, and burned lots of calories. Okay, so I got a snickerdoodle at the coffee stand which was slightly counter-productive. Whatever. : ) I didn't do the strength training, although I think I will after I finish drinking my cup of coffee and typing this.

Today is already a great day. Colby is being so funny. He is starting to understand more and more of what I say and now he points at things, looks at me, and says "Dah" and waits until I tell him what it is. Then he'll point at it again and say, "Woahw." Everything is "Woahw" to him. It's cute because it sounds like whoa, but he ends it with a "w" like he's mixing it with the word "Wow." I don't know if that makes sense, but it would if you heard him.

Colby is also getting a lot more daring. He is standing up for long periods of time, totally unassisted. He took another step today, but fell because I said, "Oh my gosh!" really loud. Damn my enthusiasm.

I can't believe my little boy is growing up! He already has such a funny personality. He is changing every day, and that totally trips me out. And he looks different too. Every day I go to pick him up I feel like his face is slimmer or his hair is longer. Trippy. It's so exciting to watch him grow, but so sad too! I'm glad that we're going to wait a couple of years for number 2 though, because this is the only time I'm going to be able to focus all of my attention on one child. I think Colby's going to be a great big-brother, though. I can already tell. He loves other kids and babies!

I'm excited for this afternoon. I begged my mom to come up and hang out with me while Clint's studying for the CPA exam. I say I begged, but it didn't take much convincing. My parents hardly ever turn down an excuse to come see Colby. So, I think we're going to go to lunch and walk around the mall. I'm just glad to have some company. It gets lonely when Clint's studying. But it will all pay off when he passes! Oh man, when that happens we are going to PAR-TAY!

Oh! I posted some items on eBay last night. I'm nervous that they aren't going to sell though. I know, they haven't even been up for 24 hours yet and most of the bidding doesn't start until the end of the auction, so I shouldn't worry. Eh, we'll see!

Alrighty, I should probably be off to straighten up and hopefully do those exercises. I know I'm probably not going to do much in the way of exercising tonight, so I should do something today! Have an awesome weekend!

Calories Burned Yesterday:

Walk 17 min/mile- 240 Cal.

Total Calories Burned This Week: 835

(My Sparkpeople goal for calories burned is 560. I have already blown that out of the water!

Go Lindsay, it's your birthday...)

To Do:

1. Dishes

2. Laundry

3. Straighten Up

Day 34: Sleep is glorious.

2006-08-03T10:20:00.000-07:00

Thursday, August 3rd

Colby slept the whole night last night! I'm talkin' he went down at 8pm and woke up at 6:30am. He must've had a bad dream or his teeth were bugging him because at 9pm he woke up crying, but all it took was a little rocking and he was back down in minutes. After eating at 6:30am, he went back down until 9am! Do you understand what this means? I got sleep! Wonderful, glorious, uninterrupted sleep!

As a result, I am a new woman today. Refreshed and ready to face the day. No more whining. And what's better is that Colby is in a good mood too! (By the way, he refused to take his afternoon nap which resulted in many melt downs over minor things. And Colby was pretty upset too. Ha! I'm so funny!)

Today Clint didn't take the iPod, so we're definitely going for a walk. I think we'll go somewhere other than our neighborhood, though. I need a change of scenery. I'm looking forward to it!

I just made some money cooking for my parents and I'm going to buy Clint an iPod. He deserves it. He works so hard day in and day out. He gets up before 6am on most days and goes to work. He comes home by 5, spends time with Colby and eats dinner. By 6 he's studying dilligently for the CPA exam. By 9 he's working on his and Jesse's internet company that they're trying to get up and running. And yet, he still has time for us. He deserves to have his own iPod that he can go running with and bring to work. Now to decide what to engrave on the back...

Anyway, Colby's down for his first nap, so I'd better go take a shower. Have a good day!

Calories Burned Yesterday:

Rollerblade 15 mins- 126 Cal.

Total Calories Burned This Week: 595

To Do:

1. Dishes

2. Walk

3. Strength Training Exercises

Day 33: Teeth and whining.

2006-08-02T15:01:00.000-07:00

Wednesday, August 2nd

I said it once, and I'll say it again: teething sucks. Poor Colby looks like he's getting 4 teeth on top at the same time. Ouch. This means he's not sleeping very well at night, which means I'm not sleeping well. Double ouch. I am completely wiped out, even though I took a nap again this morning.

Today I went to the dentist. I haven't been to the dentist since 2004 because the dentist we had was a total a-hole and I didn't want to go back. Then Clint got his new job and we've had dental coverage, but I just haven't gotten around to making an appointment. (Woops, my bad.) My teeth weren't horrible, but it was clear that I hadn't been in for a while. I have 3 whopping cavities. They scheduled me to get them filled and tried to get me to have the white ones put in. They're waaay back in my mouth and by getting silver fillings I saved $155. Even so, it'll cost us $100 for the fillings and I don't even want to know how much this checkup, x-rays, and cleaning cost.

Excuse me while I rage for a bit... Ugh! Why is everything so damn expensive?! We just finished paying off medical bills from Colby's birth, and then we get this random $165 bill from some appointment I had in March of 2005. What is that?! So we paid that off last month and I'm thinking we're in the clear from random bills for a while, so we can save some extra moola, but then we go to the dentist and that's going to cost us a fortune. Clint has an appointment for next Friday and he thinks he'll probably have at least a few cavities, since I did. So there's more money for another checkup and likely more fillings. AHHHHH! Are we ever going to come out on top?! Are we ever going to be able to save money to get out of this damn apartment and into a house? Are we ever going to be able to afford to have another kid? At this point in time it looks bleak. Damnit.

So this leads to me feeling guilty about not working. Yet again. I hate feeling guilty about that. Yeah, I could go back to work. I could go back to evening shifts at some lame waitressing job, but that means I don't get to spend time with Clint. I could go and find a day job and put Colby in daycare, but first of all I don't want to, and second of all, it's expensive. I've researched the cost and I'd basically be working to pay daycare expenses. What's the point in that?

I'm tired today, can you tell? I'm tired and cranky and extremely pessimistic. I think I need chocolate. Chocolate almost always makes me feel better, even if it's just for a little bit. : ) But wait, chocolate would not only go against me trying to lose weight, but it could give me more cavities. Grand!

To top things off, Clint took my iPod to work today, so I haven't gone for a walk. I know, lame excuse, but I really don't enjoy walking without a soundtrack. I guess I'm a little ADD in that way.

Alright, I think I need another nap. That is, if I can get Colby to take one too. Oy. I don't know if anyone reads these blogs anymore, but if you do, I could really use some encouragement today.

Calories Burned Yesterday:

Walk 17 min/mile for 26 mins- 124.8 Cal.

Total Calories Burned This Week: 469 Cal.

To Do:

1. Dishes

2. Jog/Rollerblade

Day 32: Rambling woman.

2006-08-01T14:26:00.000-07:00

Tuesday, August 1st

I'm a little behind today. It has taken me longer than I anticipated to recover from the weekend, and I had to nap when Colby took his morning nap. It was good, though. I feel like I'm ready and rarin' to go now.

I don't know if I have mentioned it before, but there's this awesome site called Sparkpeople.com that I use on a regular basis. I was using it for a while to track everything I eat, but that got really old really fast. I also used it to get those quotes that until recently have been on each of my blogs. I'm sure I'll bring that back, but right now I'm too lazy. Anyway, there are a couple of features on there that I still use and love. One of them is the exercise tracker. You put in the exercise you did, and how long you did it for and it calculates how many calories you burned based on the height and weight info that you put into the system. It's awesome! Another cool thing is that it tracks your progress of weight loss as well as inches off your hips, waist, and neck. It's such a good site and the best part is that it's totally FREE! I love it.

I think I'm going to start tracking on here the calories I have burned the day before, and keep a running tally. That might help me out even more.

Can you believe it's already August?! Holy crap! Colby is going to be a year old next month! That absolutely blows my mind. I'm excited to watch him grow. He is already changing so much! If you haven't already, you should check out the videos of him on our family page. He's too cute for words.

I'm kind of excited about my own birthday this year. It isn't anything special, I'm just turning 24, and I don't plan on doing anything big, but I'm psyched. Here's why: When I turned 21, I got married 2 days later and therefore wasn't able to party it up. When I turned 22 I was pretty much broke. When I turned 23 I was pregnant. Now, I'm turning 24 and I'm not pregnant or getting married and although we're not rollin' in the dough, I think we could afford a night out on the town. That would be so much fun. Anyone wanna go party it up with me?

Speaking of money and rollin' in the dough... I am really motivated to save money. I mean, I usually am, but we haven't done the best job of it. Don't get me wrong, we're not dumb with our money and have a savings as well as a retirement account for Clint, but we both think we could do better about our spending. I'm going to try and find some good tips online for saving cash, I bet there are at least a few things we could be doing that we don't even think about. The more money we have saved away for a down payment on a house, or furniture, or whatever, the easier it will be to take that leap and actually buy a house. God, I want a house so bad. But I digress...

Yesterday I forgot that it was my night to go out and run or rollerblade, so I rollerbladed instead of crunches. Since tonight is Clint's run night I'll do them then! I took Colby in the stroller and rollerbladed for a couple of miles. Man, I thought it was a good workout rollerblading without the stroller, it is tough with it! Shew!

Alrighty, I have more I could ramble about, but I think I should shut up and start cleaning now.

Calories Burned Yesterday:

Rollerblade 26 mins- 218.4 Cal.
Walk 19 min/mile 30 mins- 126 Cal.

To Do:

1. Dishes

2. Laundry

3. Walk

4. Six Strength Training

Exercises

from Sparkpeople

Day 31: Recovering from the weekend.

2006-07-31T10:03:00.000-07:00

Monday, July 31st

Boy oh boy did I party it up this weekend! My parents hosted a 50th birthday party for my dad's graduating class and about 60 people showed up. There was a ton of food, drinks, and cake. In the evening, we broke out the karaoke and sang the night away. I was soooo hoarse by the end of the night I couldn't sing. Oh yeah, and drunk too. Corey and his girlfriend Sara were there, so it was tons of fun to goof around with them. I think everyone had tons of fun, too! It was great because the weather totally cooperated. It wasn't too hot at all and started raining when the party was all over! Just perfect. My parents throw the best shindigs. Not many kids can say they like partying it up with their mom and dad. Remember that song that goes, "Your Mama don't dance and your Daddy don't Rock-and-Roll?" Well, my Mama does dance, and my Daddy does Rock-and-Roll. How cool is that?!

It was so nice to go down and see people and hang out. Sometimes I feel like I need to do that just to refresh myself. Colby and I went to my friend Heather's house on Thursday and had lunch. Colby played with Heather's daughter Sage and they were too cute together. We also got to see Jesse and Kendra for a little bit. They're so awesome. On Friday we met up with my friends Courtney and Cassidy and their little girls Abbi and Reagan. We went for a long walk, had lunch, and then the babies played in a splash pool while Courtney and I chatted over Diet Cream Sodas. That's my idea of a great time. That's why we need to move back down. I love my friends!

This week I have to do better about exercising and eating. I pretty much pigged out last week and aside from chasing Colby everywhere, did very little physical activity. I can tell too, I feel so blah. Hope everyone has a great week!

To Do:

1. Dishes

2. Laundry

3. Walk

4. Crunches

Day 30: A brand new week.

2006-07-24T12:29:00.000-07:00

Monday, June 24th

This is a new week! I hope this week is cooler than last. Don’t get me wrong, I love the sunshine, but I could do with a little less heat. It is impossible to exercise like I want to when it’s so hot. I have had heat headaches one too many times to risk it again. It’s no fun. I need to get out and do my walk in the morning, before it gets too hot. I really enjoyed exercising at night last week, so I want to keep doing that.

I don’t know how I’m going to be with exercising this week. I’m visiting my parents from Wednesday-Sunday, so that will probably throw off my whole routine. I hope my dad and I go for a bike ride or two, though. I really thought that was fun! I’m excited about visiting for so long, because there are a few things I want to do and people I want to see that I don’t usually get to. I’m going down for so long because my parents want me to cook a bunch of meals for them and I have found that it’s difficult to do since Colby has come along. So, I’ll do the cooking while someone is watching him. Plus, our apartment is so small and gets so hot that cooking is out of the question. (Which is why we’ve been eating out for a week now. Shhhh! Don’t tell on me.) It’ll be fun, though. I’m looking forward to it!

I have a lot to do before we take off for 5 days! We’re leaving Clint at home so he can study for the CPA exam, so I should probably be nice and leave him some food, huh?

To Do:

1. Walk
2. Grocery Shopping
3. Dishes
4. Laundry

Day 29: What a great day.

2006-07-20T14:11:00.000-07:00

Thursday, July 20th
Too many people miss the silver lining because they’re expecting gold.
Maurice Setter

Today is already a good day. Colby and I got up at 8:30, ate some breakfast and headed out for a nice morning stroll. I thought I was going to beat the heat by leaving by 9:30, but it was pretty toasty out there. So, what I intended to be over an hour walk turned out to be only 30 minutes. This actually ended up being a good thing, because Colby decided to take an early nap once we got back!

Our walk was lovely, despite the heat. The sun was shining and there weren’t too many people out on the sidewalks, so we had it all to ourselves. I played Late Tuesday on my iPod, which turned out to be the best soundtrack for today’s walk. (You should really check them out, they rock. Dana Little, one of the band members, sang and played Nora Jones’ Come Away With Me at our wedding. It was fantastic. But why am I telling you that? You were probably there.) The sidewalks are one thing I’m going to miss about this place. I can literally leave my house and walk for many, many miles without running out of a safe place to walk. I love that. And, to top it all off, there’s a whole shopping plaza within walking distance. Now that’s just awesome.

Yesterday I completely cleaned the kitchen. I mean, I got down on hands and knees and scrubbed the floor. Blech. But, it’s done and beautiful now! I also went for my jog last night, but I think it was more like 15 or 20 minutes instead of 10, so that’s sweet.

I love the routine I’ve started. Colby and I go for a walk during the day, and during his 2nd nap I take care of household stuff. Then, after he’s in bed for the night, I go out and jog or rollerblade or whatever I feel like doing that day. I come home, take a shower, and spend time with Clint! It’s nice, because during the time that I’m out for a jog we both get some time to ourselves and then we get time together when I’m back and refreshed. Since Clint wants to go for jogs too we’re going to switch off every other day. On the days I’m jogging, he’ll stay home and lift weights and vice versa. I think it will work out nicely, and we’ll get buff in the process!

Wow. I think I have actually run out of things to say. It’s a miracle! Hope everyone has a wonderful day.

To Do:
1. Dishes
2. Laundry
3. Walk
4. Crunches/Weights

Day 28: My mini pity party.

2006-07-19T12:34:00.000-07:00

Wednesday, July 19th

Happiness is not a station you arrive at, but a manner of traveling.

Margrart Lee Runbeck

I think I like the whole "checklist" thing. It works for me. If I have a list of things to do and I don’t finish something, it doesn’t make me feel like I failed because I know that it’ll just be on my list of things to do for tomorrow.

Yesterday I cleaned like a champ. Our apartment looks pretty good. Or at least it did until Colby got up from him his nap... Oh well, it isn’t the end of the world. I rearranged our bedroom yesterday and Colby’s the day before. I felt like I needed a change. It occurred to me that I have moved pretty much every year for the past 4 or 5 years, sometimes more than once. This year we aren’t going anywhere and that’s so weird to me. So, I needed a change. I think I like it, though. Both rooms have a lot more space now which is great since Colby is quickly needing more area to explore.

Instead of jogging last night, I whipped out my rollerblades and went about 3 miles. I was flying. I totally forgot how much fun it is to rollerblade. It might not be the coolest thing to do anymore, but it sure is a good workout. Right away I could feel it in my inner thighs and quads. Just where I want to tone up! I’m going to take them out again, maybe with Colby in the stroller this time, but I need to get some new wheels first. Mine are stripped down to the bone on one skate and that isn’t safe at all.

Man, I really can’t wait until we get a house. We are quickly growing out of our 700 sq. ft. apartment. It would be so nice to be able to put pictures up on the walls without worrying about not getting our deposit back, and I would absolutely love to have something other than white paint on the walls. Oh, and a yard would be nice too. I don’t have much in the way of pictures or paintings, and I want to start collecting some. I love black-and-white scenery photos or really any scenery photos. And, I love the paintings that the Kammers do. I think they’re all too talented for their own good. : ) Bare walls make everything so impersonal, so temporary. I guess I can’t wait to have a place that’s permanent. Where I know I can change the address on my driver’s license without having to change it again in a short amount of time. A place where I can have friends and not have to worry about the fact that I might be moving soon. I hope we can move close to our friends and family. I’m feeling lonely up here.

Okay, enough of my pity party. I think I need to change this from being my exercise blog to just being my online journal. That’s really what it has become for me. It’s so nice once Colby goes down for his first nap. I make myself a cup of coffee, turn off the TV, turn on some music, and sit and spill my thoughts here. No matter how blah I might be feeling, I always feel awesome once I write it all out. I get a little "me time" and I’m refreshed for another round of chasing Colby and keeping him from getting into places he shouldn’t be.

To do:
1. Drop stuff off at Goodwill
2. Dishes
3. Walk
4. Jog (10 mins)

Day 27: I have to change something.

2006-07-18T08:32:00.000-07:00

Tuesday, July 18th

People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing -- that's why we recommend it daily.
Zig Ziglar

This whole blogging thing has worked so well for me since I started. It makes me feel like I’m accountable for what I accomplish and what I don’t. However, I feel like I need to make some kind of new game plan. It’s not that I have completely lost all motivation for exercise, but what I’m doing now obviously isn’t working. I worked out only a couple of days last week after taking an entire week off, and I didn’t do anything yesterday either. I know it is pretty much the same thing, but I think I’ll change my “goals” to a “to-do” list. Maybe that will work better for me. I like checklists!

I don’t know what to do to re-motivate myself for exercise, though. I think I just need to get out there and do it, and I’ll remember how much I enjoyed it before. The problem is (and I’m trying not to make excuses here) that it gets so damn hot this time of year. I don’t really want to be going for a walk, let alone jogging in that heat. So, I thought that maybe I’ll do a walk after Colby’s morning nap, and go for a jog after he’s gone to bed at night, while Clint’s studying for the CPA exam. That sounds all well and good, but I have yet to follow through.

I should probably give myself a little bit of a break, though. It’s not like I sit around the house all day long when I don’t work out. In fact, on Saturday my dad, Clint, Colby, and I took a 16 mile bike ride! It was so nice to get back on that bike again. My ass hurt like nobody’s business for a good couple of days, but that was partially my fault for wearing jean shorts. In my defense, I didn’t realize that we would be going so far.

So, I guess I need to do like my quote of the day says and motivate myself on a daily basis. I know I have come a long way since giving birth to Colby, and I don’t want to give up now. Not before I really feel like I’ve done all I can to lose weight and tone up. I have lost a good deal of weight, but 142 is still pretty high for me. My next weigh-in is at Colby’s 12 month checkup at the end of September (I only weigh myself at the doctor’s office because we don’t own a scale), so I hope to be down to 135 by then (or less!).

I realize that this one is a long blog, but I missed yesterday, so I guess I’m making up for it today. I also realize that lately I have been coming up with all of these crazy ideas of things I want to do with myself like have my own business, learn photography, etc. I have a couple more items to add to that list. First, I think I want to go back to college and finish my minor (or maybe make it a double major) in Russian. I feel like I didn’t learn as much as I really want to. What happened was I had a really excellent grasp on the language and signed up for it at the university. They weren’t offering the 2nd year, only the 3rd, but the professor thought I’d do fine. Turns out, missing the 2nd year made it so I missed a good chunk of the grammar and foundation to the language, so I was pretty much lost in the woods for that whole 3rd year class. And then, I gave up. This was mostly due to the fact that I had only 2 years at the university and that 2nd year class wasn’t offered until my last year there. I didn’t want to stay a whole other year there just to do Russian. I wanted to graduate! So, if I do get myself into this, there are 2 dilemmas: 1. Money, and 2. What to do with Colby. Eh, I guess I’ll figure it out if it’s something I truly want to do.

The second crazy idea of mine isn’t that crazy, I guess. Clint and I really want to go to Europe. This was brought on because his older brother Mike just got back from 2 weeks there and seeing his pictures and hearing all of his stories made us want to go so bad. I have never been to Europe, only Russia. We want to go to Switzerland, Ireland, Spain, Italy, maybe France, but we want to backpack it, not have any strict schedule as to where we’re going to be at any given time. I realize that a European vacation will cost us a small fortune, so I don’t expect us to go any time soon. In fact, it probably won’t be until we’re all done having kids and they’re a little bit older. But that’s fine, as long as we do it eventually. I thought it would be really cool if we spent most of our time in, say... Italy, that we go through a crash course of Italian so we have a basic understanding of the language. That would be awesome. I took some Italian lessons from my friend’s grandpa years ago, but sadly I didn’t learn what I should’ve because we spent a lot of the time eating her grandma’s awesome Italian food!

I don’t know why I’ve been thinking up all of these things to do with myself lately. Maybe it’s because I’m at home and seeing as how Colby isn’t that great for conversation yet, I have lots of time to think to myself. I am definitely not bored at home and absolutely love what I do. I love my job of being a mom, taking care of the house, and holding down the fort! It’s relaxing (but not always) and rewarding all at the same time! And best of all, I get to watch my baby grow up! He’s just weeks or maybe even days away from walking and I’m glad that I get to experience all of these milestones first-hand.

Anyway, enough of my gabbing. Congratulations if you made it through my lengthy blog! You get a cookie.

To Do:

1. Drop stuff off at Goodwill

2. Do dishes

3. Straighten up

4. Walk

5. Jog 10 mins

Day 26: The woes of motherhood.

2006-07-12T11:55:00.000-07:00

Wednesday, July 12th

You can’t do anything about the length of your life, but you can do something about its width and depth.
Shira Tehrani

I guess I must be getting back into my workout routine slowly. I have reduced my goals from 3 in each category to 2. I’ll try to work myself back up to 3 for sure. Yesterday I didn’t blog because my cousin Crystal was here for the day. I don’t get to see her very much, and it was great to hang out and chat! She’s getting to the end of her pregnancy and she looks fantastic. Who loses weight when they’re pregnant? Lucky woman. : )

Monday I didn’t walk, but I did do abs. I did the laundry and ran errands, so rah!

My baby is growing up waaaaay too fast. People told me over and over to cherish the little baby moments because they’d be gone before I knew it. Sure enough, that happened to me too. I don’t think I took a single moment for granted, but it still flew by. I continue to cherish every moment because I can already tell that my little baby is going to be a big boy before I know it. I think that Colby is starting to lose interest in breast feeding. This makes me sad because I love those moments where I get to scoop him up into my arms and have a guaranteed 15 minutes with him. But he has places to go, people to flirt with, tupperware to throw around the kitchen. It is much quicker and faster to just drink some formula from a bottle or sippy-cup. None of this “waiting for the milk to come down” business. So, I think we’re going to start weaning. I only planned on breast feeding until his first birthday anyway, so if we start now that will probably work out well. That whole turning one thing? That’s a whole other story. I get a little misty just thinking that in a couple of months my baby will join the ranks of toddler-hood. Why didn’t anyone tell me that it’s so emotional to be a Mom?! Oh wait, they did. Nevermind.

Home:
1. Laundry
2. Straighten Up

Exercise:
1. 30 min. Yoga (it’s a rainy day)
2. Triceps

Day 25: Getting back into it.

2006-07-10T15:31:00.000-07:00

Monday, July 10th

Fall seven times, stand up eight.

Japanese Proverb

I guess I took a week’s vacation from exercise, huh? I did absolutely pitiful last week. I’m not joking, I literally ate chips for lunch at least twice last week. I’m not talking a chip here, and a chip there, I’m talking I don’t want to eat another chip for the rest of my life. Gross. But I’m back, and pumped and ready to continue my weight loss goals. It’s like the lyrics in Chumbawumba’s Tub Thumping says, "I get knocked down, and I get up again..." (I can’t believe I just quoted that song.)

For whatever reason, I have had this strong urge lately to try and start up my own business. I feel like I’m a pretty talented and knowledgeable person, but what could I do? More importantly, what could I do that would still enable me to be at home with Colby? I would love to learn how to do web developing and stuff like that. It would also be great to be able to learn how to take awesome photos and sell them, but everybody and their mother is doing that these days. A friend and I were talking this past weekend about how cool it would be to start up an espresso stand. I think that would be a lot of work, but so much fun. The problem is that it’s fairly expensive, not to mention difficult to find a place where there aren’t already a gazillion other coffee stands. What to do, what to do... I don’t know why this has hit me all of the sudden. I don’t, by any means, want to go back to work and put Colby in daycare. I think I’d be miserable if I did that. There must be something I could do... Anyone have any ideas?

Anyway, onward and upward! Lets hope and pray this week is better than last!

Home:
1. Run errands
2. Laundry

Exercise:
1. 30 min. walk
2. Abs

Day 24: Can't wait for the 4th!

2006-06-30T16:32:00.000-07:00

Friday, June 30th

Know your limits... but never stop trying to exceed them.
Anonymous

Did you see my exercise goal for yesterday? Run 10 minutes. Me? Run?! Yes folks. I, Lindsay-who-hates-running, ran for 10 minutes. And really, it wasn’t that bad. It was hot outside, and I was pretty much out of breath, but I still did it! How awesome is that?!

I did realize that I can’t run every day, though. The tendonitis in my knee (yes, I have tendonitis in my knees and my hands, and it sucks) flared up last night after the run. I think the more muscle I build up in my legs, and the more stretching I do, the less I will have flare-ups. Just a hypothesis, but I think it makes sense.

I didn’t do the leg exercises yesterday because of my knees. And I also didn’t do the biceps exercises, but I don’t have a good excuse for that one. The dishes were done, but I can’t take credit for that, because Clint did most of it, and alas, the kitchen is still a mess. But I went for a run! I’m sorry, I still can’t get over that.

This 4th of July is going to be great! Last year we went with friends of ours to their cabin on the Sound. (I use the word "cabin" loosely, because it seems more like a nice house to me!) I was 7 months pregnant last year, and their twins were 7.5 months old. This year, Colby’s 9 months and the boys are 19.5 months old! We’ll be there Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, and leave Wednesday. Last year was so relaxing, and I think this year will be too (that is, after all the boys go to bed). I’m a little worried about how Colby will react to the fireworks, though. Last year, he was doing somersaults and jumping around every time there was a loud bang. I have a feeling this year he’ll be in tears. He’s a pretty tough kid and it usually takes a lot to make him cry, but when he gets scared, he lets you know. (Ask Mike, he’s good at antagonizing Colby by Moooing and making scary faces.) I’m just really excited to hang out with Jesse and Kendra. We always have so much fun together, and it’s always nice to have normal adult conversations. Or maybe not so "normal," but adult conversations none-the-less.

So, I won’t be blogging until next Thursday, so don’t miss me too much! I know, it will be hard, but you’ll get through it. ; )

Home:
1. Run Errands
2. Clean Kitchen

Exercise:
1. Walk 30 mins.
2. Squats/ Inner-Thighs (tendonitis permitting)
3. Abs
4. Biceps

Day 23: Patience

2006-06-29T14:38:00.000-07:00

Thursday, June 29th

Patience is the key to paradise
Turkish Proverb

I like to think that I’m a patient person. I hope I am anyway. Of course, I have my moments of irritability where nothing happens fast enough for my liking, but I think that’s normal. Weight loss is one area in which I have been extremely impatient in the past. When I try to lose weight, I want results and I want them yesterday. I hate that it takes what feels like forever to see the product of all my hard work. This time around, I have a much more realistic "take it one day at a time" attitude. I know, I definitely have days where I feel like giving up because I haven’t seen as much of a change as I feel like I should, but I always get back on the horse. I think that realistic attitude stems from a couple of things. First, I’m not dieting. Just typing that word makes my skin crawl. See, I love food. I mean, if I could marry it, I would. Alright that might be going a little too far, but you get where I’m going with this. I absolutely cannot tell myself, "You can’t eat x" because ya know what happens? I want "x" even more when I tell myself I can’t have it! I make sure that I eat sensibly and I’ll have dark chocolate instead of milk chocolate (I hear it’s way better for you) and I’ll eat 99% fat free waffles instead of the nummy fatty ones, but when it comes down to it, I really don’t notice a difference. I also give myself a break on the weekends. I might go for a walk, but if I don’t exercise I’m okay with it. And if I have a few drinks and eat chips and burgers then oh well. I know, if I cut these things out completely I would see a difference in my weight in a shorter amount of time. But really, how long would that last? I can tell you: one day. Tops. I’m not going to avoid chips, burgers, and alcohol for the rest of my life, right?

Yesterday I didn’t get to the laundry again. Woops. I’ll do it today! But, everything else I completed. Wohoo!

Home:
1. Laundry
2. Dishes/Kitchen

Exercise:
1. 40min. Walk/ 10min Run
2. Biceps
3. Squats/Inner-Thighs

Day 22: My Happy Heart

2006-06-28T19:58:00.000-07:00

Wednesday, June 28th

Work like you don’t need the money. Love like you’ve never been hurt. Dance like nobody’s watching.
Satchel Paige

Despite my late blogging, yesterday was fairly successful. I did laundry (although I still need to fold it) and instead of walking, Clint, Colby, and I went for a 30 minute (2.3 mile) jog. It made my heart happy to jog with my little family. It really didn’t feel like exercise because it was fun! Plus, Clint pushed the stroller the whole way, which made the jog soooo much easier for me. I also made a month’s worth of calzones (they’re waaay nummy), so that completed another goal!

Again, I realize that I’m blogging late in the day, and today’s pretty much over. Oh well! It doesn’t mean I haven’t been productive today, though. I’m going to cheat a little today and write goals I want to accomplish, but really, I’ve already accomplished them. What? It’s my blog, I can do what I want. So there.

Can I tell you how much I like walking? And jogging for that matter. I love the time I get to spend pushing Colby around, listening to my music, thinking about whatever it is that’s on my mind. It’s extremely therapeutic. Today I thought that I might go to the library and check out some photography books. Maybe there’s an Idiot’s Guide to Taking Awesome Pictures that I can pick up. (I was actually being facetious, but I wouldn’t be surprised if that book exists!) I figure with the scenery around here, there have to be a gazillion opportunities for fantastic photography. It would be so much cheaper to hang my own framed photos than to go out and buy someone else’s!

I am going to get mushy for a second, so bear with me. (I blame it on the Mike’s I’m drinking right now. Alcohol always makes me mushy gushy. And I’ve only had one! What a light weight.) I love my life right now. I cannot imagine it any better than this. Clint is amazing, he is such a wonderful husband. He goes to work day in and day out and busts his ass so I don’t have to work. He plays with Colby and makes him laugh. When Clint walks in the door, Colby gets the hugest grin on his face, it makes me melt. Colby is an awesome kid. I know I got lucky with this one. He is so mild mannered, but still very determined. He laughs at my silly dances and loves it when I chase him around the room on my hands and knees. I hope and pray I can be a good mom to him. I pray he grows up to be as happy as I am.

Okay, I’m done. But only ‘till the next time I feel compelled to mushy-ness.

Home:
1. Fold Laundry
2. Straighten Up

Exercise:
1. 60 minute walk
2. Abs
3. Triceps

Day 21: What's the Point?

2006-06-27T17:04:00.000-07:00

Tuesday, June 27th

If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.

Dolly Parton

Sometimes I feel like giving up. Why do I bust my ass day in and day out, getting all sweaty and gross for just a little bit of change, if any at all. What's the point? And then I remember: if I give up now, I give up on myself. I fail. I let myself down. I disappoint me. That's a big deal. I plan to have more babies. At least one or two more. If I can't lose the weight now, I'll have that in my mind next time, and I might not be motivated to bust my ass. I don't want to be that person. I want to be able to play with my kids, to run around with them, swim with them, and not be embarassed and out of breath. I want them to see that their mom is a happy, healthy person, and hopefully they will want to be happy, healthy people too.

But mostly this is about me. I have to remind myself that if I give up now, I'm not going to lose any more weight. At best, I'll stay the way I am. At worst (and more than likely), I'll slowly but surely put on pound after yucky pound. That's not an option for me, so I get out there, walk the miles, lift the weights, crunch the abs. It took a long time to put the weight on, I can't expect it to come off in a flash.

I think this time of year has really got me down. I will probably never get into a bikini again. Even if I do lose the weight that I want to and tone up, I will still have the loose skin resulting from a very big baby. To make matters worse, I have the most wicked stretch marks on my stomach. I know, people tell me they'll fade, but we're going on 10 months and they're still pretty obvious (damn genetics). All I can say is thank God for tankinis and boarder shorts. I would be a scary scary sight if these didn't exist!

Anyway, enough of the whining. Time to get down to business. Yesterday Corey and Sara came up to visit! It was awesome. Have I mentioned how much I love it when people make the effort to come up here to visit? Well, I do. Although I didn't do any cardio (it was too friggin' hot anyway), I did do crunches and squats while we watched TV! Whoop di do!

I do realize that it's already 4:00pm, but I am still setting goals for today. I have already been doing laundry, so that's a start!

Home:

1. Laundry (Fold, Clean)

2. Make dinners (for the month)

Exercise:

1. 60 min walk

2. Inner-thigh workout

3. Abs

Intro to my blog

2006-06-27T17:02:00.000-07:00

I have been blogging on my MySpace profile for the past month or so, and I thought I'd blog here too! There's always room for more motivation, right? Wish me luck on my journey to weightloss.